I’d be more concerned about the fishy smell your spliff potentially developes
Do any have a bush anymore?
Depends where they are from 
Many must have before entering ‘my’ hotel but don’t when they leave judging by the pubes found in the wash basin. 
My missus started complaining that the vaccum cleaner stopped sucking.
I said it’s frustrating isn’t it
Git. 
Nicked from Twitter.
I know it’s a long shot but does anyone know what a Trebuchet is?
Oui, je dois demander, pourquoi as-tu poster ça ici? 
Nearly replied…with a technical answer…but saw the wording…
Some of the replies…
Frappe frappe
I think my favorite has to be
This is a personal experience so this is definitely true and not a joke:
I was driving a couple of years ago from Sydney to Wollongong and I got lost and chance upon this magical village that appeared from nowhere, they told me about the history of Wollongong and they told me a little known fact on how the Australian city of Wollongong got its name, I know there are some Aussies here, so I thought I will let you all in too on this little known fact:
Right around 325AD, Admiral Wu was sent on a sailing and exploration expedition by the then Chinese warlord. He was on the sea for 2 years, after having landed on what is known presently as Timor and New Caledonia, before he came round the peninsula and landed in what is known now as Wollongong. But back then when Wu landed, it was just a tiny coastal village of the original people but with magnificent scenery. He decided to stay on to find out more about this great land. Weeks became months. And the locals quickly welcomed Wu and his crew as friends and were curious about the spices and wares he brought from China.
Nearby, the Spanish landed and quickly hear about Wu. The Spanish being expansionists as they discovered land was angry that another civilization found this land first before them. They decided that they needed to raid the village and get rid of Wu so that they can get rid of all evidence that Wu ever landed.
However Wu heard of the plans and the villagers helped them get away. When the spanish arrived, they were furious that the villagers told them that Wu was long gone. The spanish decided to raze the village to ground. But the commemorate the narrow escape that Wu had, that he was Long Gone before the Spanish arrive, they named the place, Wu Long Gone which is now known as Wollongong.
