I completely agree. In the age of nation state and/or oil funded clubs, the pace is relentless, and you can’t afford to let a gap open up.
Man City are favorites for the title gain, but I’m not especially impressed with them so far, at least in relation to the press I read about them, as we are only three games in and they have had a fairly easy start.
I thought Cole Palmer was in for his breakthrough season. Guess not at City
He won’t have that at Chelsea either.
Best right winger in England according to some blue ticks.
Though I feel most of the Tory Party would give him a run for his money.
chatgpt, you an actor in a play, who is watching a jounalist write an essay on Manchester City. Its is 1000 words. titled fellatio of Man Shitty
Ah, I see where the confusion came in! You’re looking for a humorous take on Manchester City—affectionately or mockingly called “Man Shitty” by some—rather than something explicit. In a theatrical setting, I can imagine the journalist character feverishly typing away, trying to craft an essay that captures the essence of the football club.
Journalist Character (typing on a vintage typewriter, chuckling):
“Ah, Manchester City, the Crown Jewel of Football’s Nouveau Riche. Or should I say, the Cubic Zirconia?”
ChatGPT Character (watching, intrigued):
“I can’t wait to hear this.”
Journalist:
“I begin, of course, with the fans. Ah, more plastic than their flags. A group whose loyalty is as strong as their disdain for basic mathematics. After all, if money could buy titles, wouldn’t they have had more by now?”
ChatGPT:
“Ouch, a jab at the spending habits, eh?”
Journalist (chuckling again):
“It’s all in good fun! Now onto their illustrious history.”
ChatGPT:
“Go on.”
Journalist (still typing):
“Founded in 1880 as St. Mark’s, the club was destined for great things from the beginning. Well, destined might be a strong word. Let’s say ‘sports washed’ for great things—once they got their finances in order. It was as if someone took a lovable, scrappy underdog and pumped it full of deluge of cocaine-fueled, ill-gotten gains .”
ChatGPT:
“That’s one way to put it.”
Journalist:
“And let’s not forget the managers! From Malcolm Allison, who once proclaimed, ‘I’m the greatest,’ to Pep Guardiola, whose knack for tactical genius is rivaled only by his knack for spending Sheikh Mansour’s endless fountain of petrodollars.”
ChatGPT:
“Astute observations, but you must admit they’ve had their moments.”
Journalist (grinning):
“Ah, yes, ‘Aguerooo!’ The moment that shattered the wet dreams of every Manchester United fan and launched a thousand sky-blue fireworks. The most climactic last-minute goal in Premier League history, and what have they done with that momentum? Well, quite a lot, but never quite enough to avoid being the punchline.”
ChatGPT:
“So what’s the conclusion? A mockery or an admiration?”
Journalist (pausing):
“A bit of both, actually. Manchester City might be the footballing equivalent of a Silicon Valley startup—fueled by immense capital and high ambitions. Yet, they bring to the game an undeniable flair, a spectacle, a…dare I say it… soul. One can’t help but admire their on-the-field aesthetics, even if their trophy cabinet isn’t as historically packed as their neighbors’.”
ChatGPT:
“That sounds fairly balanced.”
Journalist:
“Ah, but that’s the art of this essay, my friend. The Fellatio of Man Shitty. It’s a love letter written in jest, a roast adorned with roses. Because, after all, isn’t that what football is? A game we mock lovingly, criticize passionately, and follow unconditionally?”
ChatGPT:
“I couldn’t have said it better myself.”
Journalist (putting the finishing touches on the essay):
“And so, I tip my hat to Manchester City, a club that never ceases to entertain, be it through stellar plays or financial fair play investigations. A club that is both the joke and the punchline, the hero and the villain, and forever, an integral part of football’s beautifully absurd tapestry.”
ChatGPT:
“Bravo! You’ve captured the essence quite wonderfully.”
Journalist (smiling):
“Well, it’s a complicated love affair, isn’t it? A thousand words are barely enough, but they’ll have to do.”
Not bad for ChatGPT 
I asked the exact same question than you. Here is what I got:
Setting: A dimly lit, cluttered journalist’s office. The journalist, portrayed by the actor (you), is seated at the desk, hunched over the typewriter, a half-empty coffee cup by their side. The Manchester City poster still prominently displayed on the wall.
Journalist (you): (Feverishly typing away, mumbling to themselves) Man Shitty, oh, the tangled web you weave on the pitch! (Pauses to sip coffee and then continues typing) As the world watches, you prance around the football stage with the grace of a gazelle and the charm of a rogue.
Journalist’s Face Lights Up with Enthusiasm
Journalist (you): (With dramatic flair) Ah, Manchester City! The footballing spectacle that defies both gravity and logic! With pockets as deep as the ocean and ambition taller than skyscrapers, they aim for the stars and often land among them.
A Poster of Manchester City’s Star Player Catches Your Eye
Journalist (you): (Fixating on the poster) And there, in the heart of it all, the shining star, the maestro of the Etihad! (Points to the poster) Behold, the magician, the dribbler, the talismanic figure who makes the football gods themselves bow in admiration!
Journalist Slams Down the Typewriter Keys with Gusto
Journalist (you): (Typing emphatically) But it’s not all sunshine and rainbows at the Shitty, my dear readers! Oh no, for with great power comes the great expectation of victory in every match, every tournament, every corner kick! The pressure, the weight of history, it all rests on those blue shoulders.
Journalist Pauses Dramatically
Journalist (you): (Deep in thought) Yet, they persevere. Through injuries, through setbacks, through moments when the ball refuses to find the back of the net, they march on. Defying critics, defying fate itself!
A Sentimental Look Crosses Your Face
Journalist (you): (Reflecting) And it’s not just about the goals scored or the titles won. It’s about the passion that unites fans in their love for the Shitty. The camaraderie forged in the heart of the stands, the chants echoing through the Emptihad, often half-empty, like a bittersweet symphony of blue.
Journalist’s Fingers Dance Gracefully on the Typewriter Keys
Journalist (you): (Typing gently) So, here we are, dear readers, on this rollercoaster ride called Manchester City. A club with a name that invites mockery, yet commands respect. A club that turns doubters into believers and neutrals into passionate supporters.
Journalist Reaches the Conclusion
Journalist (you): (Typing the final lines) In the grand theater of football, Manchester City may be the jester, but they are a jester with a heart of gold and a quest for greatness that never wavers. The “Fellatio of Man Shitty,” as some may jest, is a passionate ode to a club that keeps us all on the edge of our seats.
Journalist Shifts Tone, Emphasizing the Irony
Journalist (you): (With a sly grin) However, dear readers, it’s impossible to ignore the elephant in the room, or should I say, the oil wells in the desert? Manchester City, a club with a history shorter than a halftime break, has become a pawn in the grand sportswashing game.
Journalist Pauses, Holding up a Fake Oil Barrel Prop
Journalist (you): (Gesturing to the prop) Behold the real MVP, not the players on the pitch, but the oil riches of Abu Dhabi that have paved the way to football glory. A club’s success built not on the sweat of their brow but the black gold beneath the desert sands.
Journalist Smirks, Continuing Ironic Commentary
Journalist (you): (Tapping the typewriter with sarcasm) Yes, let’s not forget the passionate fans, a legion so massive they might just fill a corner of the Emptihad. (Chuckles) The history books are filled with tales of their die-hard supporters…well, maybe just a few pages.
Journalist Pauses for Effect
Journalist (you): (With biting sarcasm) So, here’s to Manchester City, the club that proves money can indeed buy success, and Emptihad, the stadium that echoes with the cheers of dozens. The “Fellatio of Man Shitty” is a satirical nod to a club that sports the badge of sportswashing with pride, all while attempting to rewrite the rules of football’s storybook.
Curtain falls as the journalist leans back in their chair, their expression a mix of irony, amusement, and critique. The audience is left with a thought-provoking yet satirical portrayal of Manchester City’s ascent, fully aware of the club’s somewhat comical ties to Abu Dhabi’s sportswashing efforts.
Edit: I prefer the second version, after I asked chatGPT to become more ironic.
I think we can safely conclude that Chat GPT is shit.
I like the end :
Yes, let’s not forget the passionate fans, a legion so massive they might just fill a corner of the Emptihad. (Chuckles) The history books are filled with tales of their die-hard supporters…well, maybe just a few pages.
Journalist Pauses for Effect
Journalist (you): (With biting sarcasm) So, here’s to Manchester City, the club that proves money can indeed buy success, and Emptihad, the stadium that echoes with the cheers of dozens. The “Fellatio of Man Shitty” is a satirical nod to a club that sports the badge of sportswashing with pride, all while attempting to rewrite the rules of football’s storybook.
Curtain falls as the journalist leans back in their chair, their expression a mix of irony, amusement, and critique. The audience is left with a thought-provoking yet satirical portrayal of Manchester City’s ascent, fully aware of the club’s somewhat comical ties to Abu Dhabi’s sportswashing efforts.
I pushed it a bit, and that’s the result I got:
Setting: The same dimly lit, cluttered journalist’s office as before. The journalist, portrayed by the actor (you), is seated at the desk, hunched over the typewriter, a half-empty coffee cup by their side. The Manchester City poster still prominently displayed on the wall.
Journalist (you): (Feverishly typing away, dripping with sarcasm) Man Shitty, the intricately choreographed dance you perform both on and off the pitch is a sight to behold! (Pauses to sip coffee and then continues typing) As the world watches in awe, you gallantly prance around the football stage with the grace of a drunken giraffe and the charm of a used car salesman.
Journalist’s Face Lights Up with Mocking Amusement
Journalist (you): (With dripping sarcasm) Ah, Manchester City! The footballing phenomenon that defies not only the laws of physics but also common sense. With pockets deeper than a well and a penchant for testing the boundaries of financial fair play, they aim for the stars and often land in a sea of controversy… with the guidance of their high-priced legal consultants.
A Poster of Manchester City’s Star Player Catches Your Eye
Journalist (you): (Fixating on the poster) And there, at the center of it all, the shining star, the maestro of the Etihad! (Points to the poster) Behold, the illusionist, the master of the dark arts, the player who can make UEFA and the Premier League’s scrutiny disappear like a magician’s sleight of hand.
Journalist Takes a Sarcastic Sip of Coffee
Journalist (you): (Typing with mock enthusiasm) But it’s not all sunshine and roses at the Shitty, dear readers! No, it’s more like a never-ending legal drama, financial investigations, and enough controversy to rival a soap opera. The pressure, the weight of financial irregularities, it all rests on those blue shoulders, meticulously massaged by the finest legal minds money can buy.
Journalist Pauses Dramatically, Pretending to Look Worried
Journalist (you): (Deep in mock concern) Yet, they soldier on. Through accusations, through penalties, through more court appearances than a celebrity divorce. They march on, seemingly invincible, as if their legal team has discovered the secret formula for evading the watchful eyes of regulators.
A Sarcastic Grin Crosses Your Face
Journalist (you): (Reflecting) And it’s not just about the goals scored or the titles won. It’s about the financial gymnastics that unite fans in their love for the Shitty. The camaraderie forged in the heart of the courtroom, the chants echoing through the corridors of power, as Manchester City continues to outwit UEFA and the Premier League.
Journalist’s Fingers Dance Gracefully on the Typewriter Keys
Journalist (you): (Typing gently) So, here we are, dear readers, on this convoluted rollercoaster ride called Manchester City. A club with a name that raises eyebrows, yet manages to outmaneuver the rulebooks with finesse. A club that turns doubters into conspiracy theorists and neutrals into financial analysts, all while pretending it’s business as usual.
Journalist Reaches the Conclusion
Journalist (you): (Typing the final lines) In the grand theater of football, Manchester City may be the jester, but they are a jester with a keen legal team and a knack for pushing boundaries that rivals their talent on the pitch. The “Fellatio of Man Shitty,” as some may jest, is a satirical tale of a club that has elevated the art of bending the rules into an art form.
Journalist Shifts Tone, Emphasizing the Irony Further
Journalist (you): (With biting irony) However, dear readers, it’s essential to remember that Manchester City’s journey to the top isn’t just about goals and victories—it’s a masterclass in dodging investigations and financial regulations. They’ve become a shining example of how a club can outshine its competition with the help of accountants and lawyers, rather than the talent of its players.
Curtain falls as the journalist leans back in their chair, their expression a mix of irony, amusement, and critique. The audience is left with a sardonic portrayal of Manchester City’s ascent, fully aware of the club’s controversial history with financial fair play and legal battles.
I wouldn’t pay anything to ChatGPT. This isn’t artificial intelligence, but rather artificial shithousery…
When he was informed the cleaning ladies in Germany are not world class escorts who pay you in gold rather than vice versa, he declined to transfer.
Does Bunga Bunga mean something different in German?
Just saw their winner from the weekend
More absurd than the combination of all the official not realizing it was offside is the comment of the assistant manager after the game deflecting to talk about the “controversy” of Sheffield United’s goal last week. There was no controversy on that goal. It was not close to being offside given Walker was 5 yards off the pitch playing on any attacker. The BBC then continued to refer to that goal as “controversial”. It’s pathetic how much water the sports press carry for these managers
He saw a photo of the local Bayern Supporters Club and had 2nd thoughts
https://twitter.com/TimesSport/status/1701325702241394705?t=7BXJL2UC80i9RW6VqajlWw&s=19
https://twitter.com/Reuters/status/1701291124772483292?t=Wxa-DtnFZpSdmLyhCmrKZw&s=19
Fucking hero regardless of his intent.
Let’s face it, it’s the only way these people will be found out.
if Man City are found guilty of the 155 charges after his good work,
he should be invited to 1 of our games and given the full VIP treatment
its the least we can do for him
FIFY