I might be wrong, but i don’t think a player rolling themself into the opponents goal counts as scoring, no matter how much they resemble the shape of a ball.
There’s at least one customer who looks like that in every Wetherspoons in the country. I’m sure Rooney will be one of Spoons’ regulars before too long.
I don’t think Ten Hag is the fundamental problem. He is absolutely overrated, probably not good enough, and definitely has made some mistakes. But moving out for the newest shiny toy isn’t going to turn things around. Klopp didn’t turn things around at LFC alone, in many ways he was the last piece of the first puzzle - that then made the ‘which players’ puzzle fans always focus on much easier.
But that’s sort of the point. There was a discernable style, with players who generally fit that style to some degree - and the ones who were not a good fit were progressively moved on. There was joined up thinking from the first, a team culture that was receptive to a fresh start, a performance-based compensation system, etc.
Ten Hag came in with less to offer, and was in some sort of tug of war from the very beginning, either for his transfer targets (his fault to a great degree) or Ronaldo, or, or
Worst thing Utd did when Purple Nose left his post, was to keep him in-house as an advisor/consultant/overseer on £250k per month - Canny Old Bas**rd like that, will leave the squad/team/hierarchy floundering in the mud, as it guarantees his intended role - why push them to be successful, when it means getting someone in to manage them properly, at the expense of his tenancy
He casts a sinister shadow over them akin to the grim reaper
Things the powers that be at Manchester do not want to lose their control at the club (when it came to ETH). Yes , ETH did get his players of choice but there still was probably an old boys clique when it came to United. Too many people there looking for a free paycheque etc etc.
Don’t think that will change with INEOS in as well. Not anytime soon considering they are still the minority shareholders.