From your visit to the Arsenal
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Well played!
1 Like
1 Like
At the butcher’s:
Customer: How much is your venison?
Butcher: £20 a kilo.
Customer: That’s deer!
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Since we are on the topic of deer,
What do you call a blind deer? No Idea
What do you call a blind deer who does not move? Still no idea
What do you call a blind deer who does not move and got knocked down? Still no bloody idea
What do you call a blind who does not move, got knocked down and lose its genitalia? Still no fucking bloody idea
1 Like
Did you hear about the winter garment that conned a lot of people?
It was the fleece jacket.
What’s the difference between Ironman and Aluminium Man?
Ironman defeats the bad guys while Aluminium Man just foils their plans.
Whats the difference between deer nuts and beer nut?
Beer nuts are $3.50 and deer nuts are under a buck
At a Mental Hospital:
Doctor: - “What is this?”
Mad Man: - “This is a book I wrote. Total 500 pages.”
Doctor- “You wrote 500 pages?!.. WOW! What did you write?”
Mad man: “On the first page i wrote One King rode on a Horse and went towards the Jungle and on the last page I wrote The King reached the Jungle.”
Doctor:- “So what did you write in the remaining 498 pages?”
Mad Man:- "I wrote;
Tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdik… tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik…
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik…
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik…
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik…
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.
Tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik…
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik…
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.
Tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik…
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.
Tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik…
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik…
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik…
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik…
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik…
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.
Tigdik ti tigdik tigdik…
Tigdiki tigdik tigdik tigdik…
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik…
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik…
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik…
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik…
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.
Tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik…
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik…
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.
Tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik…
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.
Tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik…
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik…
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik…
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik…
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik…
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.
Tigdik ti tigdik
tigdik…
Doctor :- (stunned) “AND what’s that!!!”
Mad Man:- “That’s the sound of the Horse running…The hooves digging the terrain.”
Doctor- “AND Who will read your story?”
Mad Man: "I will put it on The Anfield Noise. They will definitely read it… One of them is reading it as we speak…
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Should you be putting your life story in the Jokes thread?
3 Likes
She’ll have to score there
I went to an Inter-Religion Integration Seminar.
The Bishop came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!”
I smiled and told him I was not paralysed.
The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today!
I was less amused when I told him there was nothing wrong with me.
The Mullah came, took my hands and said, “Insha Allah, you will walk today!”
I snapped at him, “There’s nothing wrong with me”
The Hindu sadhu came and said “Beta, you will walk on your legs today.”
I said “Babaji - nothing wrong with my legs”
The Buddhist Monk came, held my hands and said, “By the will of The Great Buddha, you will walk today!”
I rudely told him there was nothing wrong with me.
After the Seminar, I stepped outside and found my bicycle had been stolen.
I believe in all religions now…
3 Likes
