My youngest has just come downstairs from watching TV in his bedroom . He said " dad , what’s love juice? " . After nearly choking on my brew , I though I’d better be honest and said " son , sit down I will tell you, when a women gets sexually excited , her vagina gets wet , and that’s love juice. He just stared back at me in total bewilderment. I said " anyway, what are you watching up in your bedroom. He said " Wimbledon " Dad 
I’m starting to think my neighbour doesn’t watch porn.
2 hours I’ve been at her place and I’m still fixing the kitchen sink
Having been suspended by the torries for sex abuse allegations, I’m not sure probing him is the best idea
When I Found out I was going to inherit a fortune when my father died, I decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with me. So one evening I went down to the local singles bar where I spotted the most beautiful woman I had ever seen,her natural beauty took My breath away"I may look like an ordinary man " I said to her.“But in a couple of weeks my father will die and I’ll inherit 20 Million Pounds”. Impressed the woman went home with me that evening.Three days later she became my Stepmother.
My now all time personal favourite video is this one which I’ve already put in the US politics thread but am reposting in case there is anyone who doesn’t read that particular part of the forum.