I am Colin 
I got fired from the bank today.
A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her
To the guy who invented zero - thanks for nothing
Saw this posted by a Canadian friend the other day.
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Except the Ice Everywhere clause, he basically described 6-a-side football. Which already exists
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Two girls on the tills at the convenience store and one says to the other…
“You can always tell the single blokes from the married ones”
“Oh yeah says the other girl, how do you do that”
"First girl says watch this…
Just then a guy comes to the counter and says “one mushroom, one egg, one sausage, one slice of bacon, one tomato and one tin of beans”
Girls says " You’re a single fella you aren’t ya"
Guy says " Yes… how do you know that"
Girl says “You’re a right ugly cnut” :0)
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I don’t get it.
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You been watching Stewart Francis clips
Got home to find the missus on ebay all day.
If she’s still there tomorrow, I might lower the price
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Some friends of mine started a band called 999 megabytes. They still don’t have a gig.
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There was a girl in my year back in secondary school who’s name was Jenna Taylor. Her parents set her up for a miserable life from day one.
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My friend David recently had is ID stolen.
Now I just call him Dav
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