If a blackbird has black babies, and a bluebird has blue babies, what bird has no babies?
A swallow
Sounds like someone has been opening their Christmas crackers early
to get the jokes eh :0)
Try explaining that one to the kids.
Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.Nick the Dragon
Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason.He knew that the penalty for
his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try.
One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the
Physician, the King’s chief doctor… Horatio thought about this and said
that he could arrange for Nick to more than satisfy his desire, but it
would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it.
Without pause Nick readily agreed to the scheme.
The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a little
bit into the Queen’s bra while she bathed.
Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.
Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio
informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four
hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the
saliva of Nick would work as the antidote to cure the itch.
The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Nick to their chambers.
Horatio then slipped Nick the antidote for the itching powder, which he put
into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on
the Queen’s large and magnificent breasts. The Queen’s itching was
eventually relieved, and Nick left satisfied and hailed as a hero.
Upon returning to his chamber, Nick found Horatio demanding his payment of
1000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick couldn’t have cared
less knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King and
with a laugh told him to get lost.
The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder
into the King’s underwear…
A murder has been committed. Police are called to an apartment and find a
man standing, holding a 5-iron in his hands, looking at the lifeless body
of a woman on the ground.
The detective asks, “Sir, is that your wife?”
“Yes.”
“Did you hit her with that golf club?”
“Yes. Yes, I did,” the man, answers. He stifles a sob, drops the club and
puts his hands on his head.
“How many times did you hit her?”
“I don’t know. Five…maybe six, seven…put me down for a five.”
Love it, can not stand in the shadow of Jutta … 
Stopped reading after tis … 
