The thread for jokes that don’t meet Flobs’ exacting standards

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I started a nightclub for guys with erectile dysfunction.

It was a total flop and nobody came

Andy Parmo on Twitter: “This Lethal Weapon reboot looks shit https://t.co/BUDeabZzXz” / Twitter

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You have to be careful where you wear the T-shirt…

I take the darkest one so nobody thinks I’m a racist.

mike huckabee moments GIF

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Search engines are much better than they used to be. When I first got an internet connection at home in the mid 1990s, I typed one of my hobbies into the search engine: “Amateur Astronomy”. I then discovered that one should never type the word “Amateur” into a search engine.

Don’t know if it still does it but a few year ago typing empty stadium or something in Google maps always took you to man city stadium…always made me laugh :joy:

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Note to self. Yelling “Gua! Gua! Gua!” is not sufficiently frightening to bears.

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It actually was. Poor bear was startled and terrified. They are just wired differently from us, the fight/flight switch points way more to the fight. Bear logic - that thing is scary, if I go kill it, it won’t scare me anymore.

If it had been a real attack, the video ending would not have had some middle-aged man who had shit himself saying ‘Tabernac’ and walking away 10 seconds later. Bear probably knocked him over and bolted for a tree line. He should have tried scaring it earlier when it might have felt flight was an option.

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Looks like the man was in the bears habitat.
A habitat that looks like it’s being destroyed by other men (or women to be PC).
Said man didn’t look like he was particularly under nourished, therefore why was he hunting.
Sport?
Cunt!

one of the most ignorant statement I’ve heard in some time.

he’s first nations/indigenous. that IS his habitat, and is bow-hunting as he is allowed. Likely for deer.

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Up around Algoma, odds are he is Anishinaabe, continuing their hunting tradition. He pretty clearly wasn’t hunting bear. Probably feeds his family deer meat quite regularly.

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He was almost dead meat. No experienced woodsman, that guy.

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Get in there early, on dissuading a black bear. They will likely move on if you make a noise, make yourself bigger, and give them plenty of time to back down and exit.

That fella waited too long, so he had an up close encounter, but clearly the bear didn’t want to attack him, otherwise if would have been uglier.

Grizzly bears are different gravy. I remember getting briefed on all this by the park rangers when we were in Yellowstone a few years ago. Black bears, you have a chance. Scare them off, or if you are in an encounter, fight like the dickens.

Grizzly bears - longer snout, bump on the back, very long razor-like claws, and overall much bigger - do NOT fight, or you are probably going to die. Lie down, submit, cover the back of your neck, and hope it just sniffs you and moves on.