This is brilliant:
https://twitter.com/Ann_Lilyflower/status/1768375403381490133
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Wife’s Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner.
I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.
Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much.
I asked him what was wrong; He said, “nothing.”
I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.
He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him.
He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behaviour.
I don’t know why he didn’t say, “I love you, too.”
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.
He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.
Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed.
But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried.
I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
Husband’s Diary:
Who the fuck loses to crystal palace at home.
Damn. I was expecting the punchline to be something along the lines of “Now you know what it feels like.”
2 blokes (Bill and Bob) sitting chatting in the main stand at Anfield, empty seat between them.
Bill - Strange there would be an empty seat in the derby.
Bob - That’s my wifes seat, we’ve sat here together for 40 years but she passed away last week.
Bill - So sorry to hear that. Don’t you have any relatives that could have used the seat today?
Bob - Oh aye, plenty of them, but they’re all at the funeral
Dorothy…you’re not the only one…try it in reverse…see how long he lasts…
