Michael Malaprop?
The sad thing is I think that’s an old list, and he’s probably added a few dozen other entries since then!
Englishman: “That your dog?”
Welshman: “Aye”
Englishman: "Mind if I speak to him?’
Welshman: "Dog don’t talk.”
Englishman: Hey dog, how’s it going?"
Dog: “Doing all right.”
Welshman: (look of shock)
Englishman: Is this your owner?" (Pointing at the Welshman)
Dog: “Yep.”
Englishman: How’s he treating you?"
Dog: “Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the park once a week to play.”
Welshman: (Look of total disbelief!)
Englishman: “Mind if I talk to your horse?”
Welshman: "Horse don’t talk.”
Englishman: “Hey horse how’s it going?”
Horse: “Cool.”
Welshman: (Extreme look of shock!)
Englishman: “Is this your owner?” (Pointing to the Welshman)
Horse: “Yep.”
Englishman: “How’s he treating you?”
Horse: “Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a nice stable to protect me from the weather.”
Welshman: (Look of total amazement!)
Englishman: “Mind if I talk to your sheep?”
Welshman: "That sheep’s a fucking liar!!”
Ok I admit it, I am a bit slow these days but I really don’t get this one 
Aaaah…I see why now…
You could replace the Welsh character with a Kiwi.
I don’t think a tiny flightless bird could fuck a sheep.
Have you been to the South island?
Same joke with better delivery (for me anyway). Full set is worth a watch if you enjoy dry one liners. He’s now progressed on to freestyle rap as his main act.
A Kakapo would give it a go…
