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:0)
Sad news from the Nestle factory today. A night shift worker was crushed beneath a case of chocolate that fell 20 feet off the storage racking. He called for help repeatedly but every time he shouted ‘The Milky Bars are on me’ his colleagues just cheered
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wait WHAT aussies put pineapple on burgers? lol
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Many years ago (pre-mobile days), as I walked along a road known as a red light area, a woman who was sitting outside a house asked me, “Do you have the time?”
I replied, genuinely and innocently, “Sorry, I haven’t got a watch”, to which she replied, 'Well, fuck off then!"
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You still need to remember where they are. 
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