Someone mentioned elsewhere that this is from I Forced a Bot to Write This Book: A.I. Meets B.S. by Keaton Patti
Good to see not all brits are afraid of a US court. 
Haha, it took me a sec to get. 
I got a phone call this morning to say my ex was in hospital after being hit by bus.
Now I’ve just found out I have lost my job as a bus driver.
Letting your dog sleep on the bed is the first mistake.
People need to remember they are pets and as such you need to establish boundries and ensure those boundries are stuck to.
Titanium alloy - like the space shuttle
Growing up, I never used to be able to properly wear a seatbelt. And then it clicked
We recently had a kidnapping at school.
It’s ok, he woke up eventually
I like to tell dad jokes in my spare time, but I don’t have any kids.
I’m a faux pa.