I had a physical not too long back…
One downside was that the doctor was a miserable bastard though…
Anyway, gave up trying to break the ice and communicate with him in a friendly manner during the various things I had to do, and just answered his stuff in a straightforward manner.
So, at the end when he was offering his summary, he actually said I was in good fettle for an older guy and he was surprised at that… He asked me if I took any regular exercise which obviously helped with the favourable diagnosis…?
I told him that a did five sit-ups every morning without fail…
Looking astonished, and as he started to paw over my results again…
He said 'five sit-ups is all you do"…?
I said yeah… well there is only so many times you can hit the snooze button isn’t there!
The miserable bastard still never smiled…!!
Think he needs to change his profession eh :0))
I wonder if the clip will show up properly, if not, here is the link:
https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/507883185292443658/892893493645701191/gummimes.mp4
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
Oh my, I am so sorry, " the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you, " she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed! ! Everything had been SO incredible! !! ! "You know, " he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet? "
"No, " she replies… "“You just happened to catch my eye.”
that needs to get deleted…
I have no idea where to post this.
Just watched an elderly couple enter McDonald’s and sat next to a table where some young kids were having bait.
The old man walked over and made the order for himself.
He unwrapped the burger, cut it in half and put one half next to his wife. Carefully he counted all the fries and did the same.
He dipped 2 straws in the coke and put it between himself and his wife.
The old woman began to eat her half of the burger, whilst the kids stared at her compassionately.
A young lad approached them and offered to buy them another portion of food.
The old woman replied not to bother, as they were used to sharing everything.
People realized that the old man had not eaten nowt, he only watched as his wife ate.
The young man approached and repeated his offer.
This time it was the old man, who explained that no, they were used to sharing everything.
The young lad then asked the old man,
And what are you waiting for then?
He says the teeth 
