Would still be better than being called Major Jason Manc.
When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex:
“Tarzan not know sex!” He replied.
Jane explained to him what sex was.
Tarzan said. “Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree!”
Horrified, she said. “Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly!”
She took off her clothes and lay down on the ground. “Here!” She said. “You must put it in here!”
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer with his huge erection, and then gave her an almighty kick right between her legs.
Jane rolled around in agony, but manages to gasp for air and screamed. “What did you do that for?”
“Tarzan check for bees!”