Jokes that don’t meet Flobs’ exacting standards thread

To lighten up the mood, as the name suggests!

I’ll begin…

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Two fish are in a tank.
“How the hell do you drive this thing??”

(This joke was the first post in the old TIA jokes thread pre-crash)

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Q.Whats brown and sticky?
A. A stick

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image

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The entire thread is epic.

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Fun fact. Apparently people in Dubai don’t like The Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi do.

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Mate… don’t even stop to get your coat :smile:

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@Kopstar courtroom transcription special

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No
ATTORNEY: Did you check blood pressure?
WITNESS: No
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So. Is it then possible that the patient was alive when you started the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient still have been alive nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

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https://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Fedex+gripe+sheet_75e6d7_3775982.jpg

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Only problem i can see with wearing those shoes,is that you’ll never be able to tell if you’ve stepped in dog shit. :dog: :poop:

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Currently topical -

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