Yes, but there is a basis to that: when I cook spaghetti, I toss a few toward the ceiling to see if they stick.
This is my life now.
Watching someoneâs acid trips brought to life by adults dancing in weird arse costumes.
It has been a long day.
I had buccatini for dinner.
And now Mrs SBYM is making me watch Elf, ya cotton-headed ninny muggins.
You got a love Leeds, though, right? They are like that young boxer who doesnât give a shit how many shots he takes so long as he lands one or two. Then later in the pub all heâs going to talk about are those two he landed. With the kind of enthusiasm is if he actually won the damn fight!
I think a Midlands derby might be a bridge too far for me, especially after that NBA-style spectacle. Donât think Big Sam will deliver similar fare.
Iâd rather fold laundry, which I am.
Youâre an expert at folding.
Games with Allardyce and Pulis in charge are carcinogenic. Never watch unless we play them.
Thatâs a polite way of saying âfucking crapâ
I like Bertrand Traoreâs Burkina Faso sweatbands on his wrists. 
I did not have to look that up like I did carcinogenic
Had to look up carcinogenic but I think it fits quite well.
I know I mentioned it earlier this week but Grealish again getting no protection from the refâŠ
Howâs that not red. Looks like fat samâs tactics have already been implemented.
This is the only thing that concerns me when playing this arsehole. Such scum tactics until they play UTD, then he rolls over.
Now I am curiousâŠlogging in to look
Yeah, not the worst red, but could have been a lot worse damage to Grealish. Not surprised it got a video upgrade.
Ouch! That Hause challenge was awful.
What a bonkers season.
If Villa hang on here and win their two in hand they are above City, Spurs, Leicester and Chelsea, over a third of the way through.
Iâm a fan, to be honest. Itâs the race that makes your bollocks tingle.
It baffles me how Bielsa got nominated for best FIFA manager?
Because guys like me are forever in search of fun false prophets.