There was the time we won the league when Sterling scored from an offside position. Oh no. Tsk. The opposite happened.
Oh hang on. Remember when Kompany was sent off notwithstanding as the last man he cleanly won the ball on the halfway line and we again won another title.
Nope. I’ve got that the wrong way round as well, haven’t I?
I’ve got one. When Eto’o got sent off for that horrific challenge on Henderson and we beat Chelsea then won the league…wait, no, I’ve fucked that up again haven’t I?