Must admit I never heard that Spanish one, even though I lived and worked there with some real down to earth types
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:0)
Copper on a horse says to a little girl on a bike, “Did Santa get you that?”
“Yes,” replies the little girl.
“Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!” and fines her £5.
The little girl looks up at the copper and says, “Nice horse you’ve got there, did Santa bring you that?”
The copper chuckles and replies, “He sure did!”
“Well,” says the little girl, “Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!”
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Yeah, I would have thought it would be puta or mierda
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Yeah, they’re fooling no-one 
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FAFO 
Why am I seeing the word loose rather than lose so often these days (oh wait, yeah, we have not been winning matches)? I know that English is not my first language, but have I been getting it wrong all these time?
I have heard you could use loose while releasing an arrow, or use loose to relax the necktie a bit.
Edit: Hang on, it was Cyni’s job to correct the mistakes. 
You are correct.
We can LOOSE an arrow or LOOSEN a necktie, but Liverpool LOSE football matches 
