Sorry.
I get around. I wasn’t aware that some disloyal cunt had written on my note with a blue pen and then uploded it though.
I must get better friends.
A teacher is teaching a class and notices Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?” Johnny says, “None.” The teacher asks, “Why?” Johnny says, “Because the shot scared them all off.” The teacher says, “No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.”
Johnny asks the teacher, “If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor—one licking her ice cream, one sucking her ice cream, and one biting her ice cream—which one is married?” The teacher says, “The one sucking her ice cream.” Johnny says, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!”
A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says: “Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.” The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing “That’s horrible!!!
So many men dying that way!”
Confused, he says, “Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved.”
After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, “How many is a Brazilian?”
The hardest football pitch I ever played on was made of crushed brick rubble and concrete.
We won 3:2 on aggregate.
love it!
