Why is it, that whenever my wife tells me to stop being an asshole, I have to stop being an asshole.
But when I tell her to relax and calm down, I have to stop being an asshole
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A duck walks into a bar and orders a pint and a ham sandwich.
The barman says, wait, you’re a duck aren’t you.
The duck seems offended and asks again for a pint and a ham sandwich.
The barman pours the pint and give the duck the sandwich, but wants to find out more.
He sees the duck pull out a newspaper and start reading it, then has to tend to other customers so isn’t able to further question the duck.
The duck comes in every day for the next couple of weeks, and during that time asks the duck what he’s doing in the area.
The duck says, I’m working on the local building site, I’m a plasterer.
Next day the circus arrives in town, and the circus owner comes into the pub for a pint.
The barman tells him about the duck, he speaks, drinks pints and reads newspapers.
Interesting says the circus owner, here’s my card, ask the duck to call me.
Next day the duck comes in and the barman excitedly tells him he’s found a really exciting well paid job, at the circus.
At the circus, asks the duck?
With all the performing animals, which live in cages and the performers live in caravans?
Yes that’s right says the barman.
At the circus, where they erect a huge canvas tent with a big pole and hole in the top?
Yes that’s right says the barman.
And you say you’ve found me a job there?
Yes that’s right says the barman.
The duck then asks, a big canvas tent and a load of caravans, what the fuck do they need a plasterer for?
5 Likes
Curacao, Capo Verde lol
1 Like
Do you know what borders on insanity?
Canada and Mexico
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