I threw a ball for my dog the other day.
It was a bit over the top, but he looked fantastic in a tuxedo
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Well, I know we’re in for bad taste humour and jokes, always happens. But this one actually tickled me:
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Queen Elizabeth sat through Hitler, the Cold war, threat of Nuclear war but watching Ronaldo play in the Europa league is where she drew the line. 
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A pensioner drove his brand new BMW to 100 mph, looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him. He floored it to 140 , then 150, … then 155, … Suddenly he thought,
“I’m too old for this nonsense !”
So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.
The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said,
“Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and I’m taking off for the weekend with my family. If you can give me a good reason that I’ve never heard before, why you were speeding… I’ll let you go.”
The Man looked very seriously at the police man, and replied :-
“Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back.” !!!
The Cop left saying,
" Have a good day, Sir ".
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