A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them.
At the fair, he met another Farmer who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50.
The farmers lived sixty miles apart. So they agreed to drive thirty miles each, find a field in which to let the pigs mate.
The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 A.M., loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, (which was the only vehicle he had) and drove the thirty miles. While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer,
“How will I know if they are pregnant?”
The other farmer replied, “If they’re lying in the grass tomorrow morning, they’re pregnant. If they’re in the mud, they’re not.”
The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud. So he hosed them off, loaded them into the family station wagon again and proceeded to try again. This continued each morning for more than a week. Both farmers were worn out.
The next morning he was too tired to get out of bed. He called to his wife,
“Honey, please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud or in the grass.”
“Neither,” yelled his wife. “They’re in the station wagon and one of them is honking the horn.”
My Grandfather always said to me…
“Whenever one door closes, another one opens.”
Lovely man… terrible cabinet maker.
:0)
Has he still his fingers?
As someone that spent several years working nights - finishing at 7am I can attest to how easy it is to sleep on the London Underground.
And surprisingly comfortable as well after a 12hr night shift
Years ago I had fell asleep on my train from Glasgow to Stirling after a long day at work and a swift pint that my boss insisted on. I woke up in Inverness.
So you woke up thinking the zombie apocalypse had started? 
It’s all White Walkers up there.
I did this last week. So tired. Flight to Birmingham. Glass of wine on plane. Got on train (I thought) to Nottingham and fell asleep straight away. Woke up in Hereford, 100 miles away from Nottingham 