What about the home indoors amd home outdoors?
There are frequently days when I believe I am living in some weird parallel universe which I understand from a medic friend could be an early sign of dementia which given my age could I guess be true. 
This isn’t really “funny” but couldn’t think where to put it. I suppose it could be “funny” if it wasn’t such a tragic waste of money.
To the prick that stole my dogs, I will find you
I have leads
Guessing you’re not on electrical rigging disasters on Facebook? Things like this make us sparkies laugh.
Yes that was clearly the focus of the ‘joke’. Wanting migrants to die was just an added bonus
Ah, missed the txt, just saw the pic. Yeah, that is bad taste.
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is Scotsmen who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Irish
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed… “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn’t really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto McTavish but my friends call me Paddy"
Could see that ending coming from a mile away, but it still made me laugh :0)
Finally, the true identity of @cynicaloldgit
![[IMG]](https://thechive.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Untitled-17.gif)
Just been asked by a group of teenagers outside the Co-op if I would get them 20 Richmonds. Stupidly I agreed and got them a packet, I handed them over and you should have heard the abuse I got!
So I told them next time get your own F***ing sausages
A man boards an airplane with 5 kids. After they all get settled and take their seats a woman seating across the isle from him asks “Are all the kids yours?”
He replies “No, I work for Durex and these are customer complaints!”
A man crawls out of the desert and into a small village, which has some market stalls in the street.
He crawls up to the first one. “Water, water! Give me water!” He cries.
“I’m sorry, " says the first stallholder, I only sell custard.”
The man crawls up to the second stall. “Water ,water! Give me water he cries.”
“I’m sorry,” says the second stallholder, “I only sell cream and sponge.”
The man crawls to the third stall. “Water, water! Give me water he cries.”
“I’m sorry,” says the third stallholder, “I only sell hundreds and thousands.”
“I can’t believe no one has any water,” says the parched man.
“I know,” says the stallholder, “It’s a trifle bazaar.”