I had a delicious rib eye steak last night, and couldnt taste any chemicals, only dead cow.
1 Like
:0)
4 Likes
3 Likes
Close enough. 
We’ve had almost 30° in April, afterwards almost whole May ~15° 
3 Likes
I agree, but shouldn’t that be in the US Election thread? 
3 Likes
I had a phone conversation today with a very nice young chap from Pakistan. This is how it went:
“Hello, how are you today?”
“I’m very well thank you for asking, how are you and more to the point, WHO are you?”
"Sir, my name is Sanjit, and I’m calling you from Microsoft.”
"Microsoft, is that a city in Pakistan?”
" No sir, MICROSOFT, the computer company. I’m calling to tell you that we have found a problem with your computer.”
"REALLY, that’s quite concerning.”
"Yes sir, it can become very serious indeed but thankfully I will be able to fix it for you.”
“No, I meant it’s very concerning because I don’t HAVE a computer.”
“You don’t?”
“No.”
"Ahh, it must be a problem on your laptop sir.”
"Don’t have one.”
“Ipad?”
"Nope.”
“Tablet?”
"I have none of those things. As a matter of fact, I don’t even have a telephone.”
After a few seconds of silence he said “sir, you are lying to me now!”
I said “Well, you started it!!” and put the phone down.
16 Likes
An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks him, “What’s wrong?”
The boy says, “Me ma is dead.”
“Oh bejaysus,” the man replies. “Do you want me to call Father O’Riley for you?”
The boys says, “No tanks mister. Sex is the last thing on my mind at the moment.”
5 Likes
Genius. Reminds me of the priest we had at school, Father Up. We knew he was dodgy because when we went to confession, he’s always tell us to do 10 male hairies.
2 Likes
Noticed over the last few years that these callers have started fighting back. Had a woman recently who I strung along for a while properly swearing at me when she clocked.
3 Likes
2 Likes
