A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love.
About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, “Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?” Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again. Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife shoulder, and asks, “Honey, please…just one more time before die.”
She says, “Of course, Dear,” and they make love for the third time. After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep. The man, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he’s down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. “Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could…”
At this point the wife sits up and says,“Listen, I have to get up in the morning. You don’t !!!”
There was once a pond where there was a law against blowing bubbles in the pond and after one drunken night three ducks turn themselves in for committing the crime.
They go to their court date and the judge asks to see the first duck and he says to the duck “what do you have to say for yourself?” The duck replies “hi, my name is Quack and yes, I did blow bubbles in the pond.”
The judge says thank you and then asks to see the second duck and he says “hi, my name is Quack Quack and yes I did blow bubbles in the pond.”
The judge then asks to see the third duck and before the third duck can even come to the stand the judge says “let me guess, your name is Quack Quack Quack and you did blow bubbles in the pond?”
The third duck says “no, my name is Bubbles.”
I hope they reused the box they used last year.
And the year before.
And the year before.
And the year before.
I can remember asking for a double shot of whisky in America, and the barman asked me what I would like with it. I said, “a glass.”
