Is that what they call ‘burn out’?
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You need new material @WeeJoe or don’t quit your dayjob … 
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Q. What do you do if King Kong comes through your window?
A. Start swimming
When I get bored, I like to tuck me knees into my chest and lean forward.
Thats how I roll
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A pair of jumper leads walk into a bar. The barman says “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything”
Last night my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back. Who the hell did she think it was?
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At this rate, I think this thread is going to need another rename. 
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Admit it, you all love it when you see I’ve posted in here 
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Q. What do you call a comedian with Irritable Bowel Syndromn?
A. Shits and giggles
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My flatmate keeps stealing all of my antidepressants. I hope he’s happy!
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Don’t blame him, if this is what he has to put up with every day.
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An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.
The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor
says: “I’ve got bad news for you - you’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it”.
The man looks a little perplexed and says: “Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc”.
The doctor answers: “I’m sorry, there’s no known cure. We’re going to have to amputate your penis”.
The man screams in horror, “Absolutely not! I want a second opinion”. The doctor replies: “Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice”.
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he’ll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: “Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely lare disease”.
The guy says to the doctor: “Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!”
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: “Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. Make more money that way. No need to opelate!”
“Oh, Thank God!”, the man replies.
“Yes”, says the Chinese doctor, “You no wolly! Wait two week, Dick fall off by itself and you save all money!”
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Minnie Mouse told Micky that she wanted a divorce “Are you fucking serious?” he asked
“No, I’m fucking Goofey!” she replied
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quality of jokes is rapidly going down here…