Look at the length of the toenails on that thing, Wayne needs to call his cousin.
Custody battle for the kids….
The mother gets up and says to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.
After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied, “Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?”
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I’d love it. Those white wellies…
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Just read a comment by a Utd fan…
“Maguire is the strongest opponent I’ve ever had to face” - David de Gea 
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Nah, Goldbridge last night had the best when Maguire was trying to act hard at the end
“Fuck off! your not hard. I’ve seen diarrhea harder then you”
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Here are a couple more…
“Everyone keeps talking about Mane’s no look assist, but no one talks about Maguires no look defending…”
" Liverpool’s 4 attackers are unbelievable this season.
The chemistry between Salah, Mane, Diaz and Harry Maguire is so entertaining to watch"
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“Pigeon shit on statues” (Goldbridge)
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Probably should go to the Space thread… But the title…
Well considering I spent a proportion of the day looking at photos of cracks, discussing said cracks, looking for signs of leakage, wondering if we should probe them or drill them then I can believe anything about Uranus
Wifey got her wisdom tooth extracted yesterday. I suspect she’ll bash me once the pain subsides after my comment saying “It’s so nice that the house is quiet now , esp with her not shouting at the kid and me etc”
Truestory
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My ex had to have wisdom teeth put in. 
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Sorry @Retro_Helix you seem to have omitted the punchline(s). Could you please post?
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