Not long enough!
He needs a 10 year extension asap
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Glorious 
Just watched it, thoroughly enjoyable listening to some absurdly pro-ManU commentary, Hojlund is amazing apparently. Some observations:
i) Martinez was a glorified training pylon today, with the best being Brightonâs 2nd goal. Absolutely amazing, to be so close to an attacker with the ball, and yet put so little defensive pressure on the attacker. Even a pylon would have been more difficult simply by being a stationary object, Martinez actually took himself out of the play.
ii) Rashford is a shadow of the player he was a couple of years ago, and will never become the player he could have been. He is now terminally selfish, preferring to lash the ball into the side netting or a defenderâs legs than to find a teammate - a teammate who is open due to the threat that Rashford has created. Clearly no sense of trust in his team. He has ruined his career staying at ManU through this absurd succession of paint-by-numbers managers.
iii) The 3-1 score doesnât look terrible, but Brighton humiliated ManU. Once they got that first goal, they controlled that match. The goal they gave up was a sequence of errors that didnât rattle them at all. I think Ten Hag is in real trouble now. The crowd doesnât trust him anymore, his players donât appear to believe, and sides know they can simply come into Manchester and dominate ManU
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Shades of OlĂŠ, really, but I think we can count on your first statement about pro-United commentary to keep him going along in the same vein. Theyâll jammy out a win and the âcorner will be turnedâ, theyâll win late and it will be âthe glory days are back because that was just like how it was under Fergieâ and the pundits will cream themselves because thatâs what they think that all the frothing United masses want to hear and letâs face it, that *is * what they want to hear and so it will go.
Theyâve learned nothing.
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Thatâs interesting, because I noticed the way the BBC edited the highlights on Match of the Day last night. It was made to look like Utd completely dominated the game and Brighton were just bit part players.
Then incredibly, Shearer was blaming the ownership negotiations for the teamâs poor form and Ten Hagâs troubles.
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Ten Hag is just a Dutch Brendan Rodgers.
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Onana is seriously dreadful. Shame.
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Chat GPT says:
Oh, where to start on Manchester Unitedâs loss yesterday? Itâs not often we see a team underperforming quite so⌠enthusiastically.
First off, their defense seemed to think they were playing hide and seek, just that they were a confusing blend of both hiding and seeking, perpetually lost. Whenever the ball came their way, they appeared startled, like theyâd never seen such an entity before.
The midfield was maybe dabbling in some existential crises. To pass or not to pass - that seemed the question. When they did decide to pass, it was often to phantom teammates, or maybe to spectators who looked vaguely interested.
And then, the strikers. Or, as I prefer to call them, the slowpoke trifecta needing a GPS to locate the net. Their efforts appeared less like âattempts to score a goalâ and more like âmodern interpretive dance routineâ.
But letâs not forget their goalkeeper. He certainly made a good attempt at the âstatue imitating a playerâ routine. Iâm all for innovative strategy but maybe the goal post isnât the best place for a casual nap?
Yes, it was definitely a game that willâŚshall we sayâŚremain in the annals of history, remembered fondly by all other teams who didnât have to endure that 90+ minutes! Honestly, I havenât seen that many misplaced balls since the last easter egg hunt I attended. Itâs as if they thought the game involved launching the ball anywhere but the opponentâs goal. Hmm, maybe someone should hand them a rule book before the next game?
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âAbout as useful as a hazelnut condom with a girlfriend who has a nut allergyâ
âAs greedy as a mosquito in a blood bankâ
Should we be reporting Goldbridge to the authorities as a potential person of interest?
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Only if not being funny is now considered a crime, in which case I think we should be burning the jokes thread 
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Says the person throwing up plenty of laughter reactions (donât think I didnât notice )
I was thinking a leaner Martin Jol but that works too
5 games in and we already have more than double Unitedâs points.
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Except, of course, that he cost more than his City counterpart.
Or so the imbeciles in the media will tell you.
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I donât know about you but listening to ManU fanshows rip their side never gets old
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All true but Iâd add Fernandes to that list. Theyâve tried and tried to build a midfield and a team round him but his work rate is awful and his character has got to be questioned.
Honestly, Iâd be looking to off load him. Heâs poisonous. Iâd be willing to wager the whole attitude issues stem from him.
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