At the first glance I thought it’s Tintin
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Just reading Flobs post in what’s happening.
Another Grump of mine, is carryon luggage.
What is it with loads of people being allowed carryon luggage way over the specified size, and then my wife and I, with our small carry-on, can’t fit it in the overhead lockers assigned for our seats as some twonk has put their oversized effing luggage in it.
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Your carryon baggage is supposed to fit under the seat Infront of you. That’s why it’s size and shape restricted.
Any other luggage they make you pay for which varies on the options you take.
When I went with my son and grandson we took a family option with Ryanair that allowed us a carryon bag each, 2 cabin cases (to go into the overhead lockers and could be quite large) and 2 massive cases in the hold (which you have to wait for) and the choice of a pram car seat or another hold bag. Anyway I think it was that, we definitely took a lot for a week and a half holiday.
It’s not evident what’s what. For a weekend a change of socks and pants can be enough if it doesn’t rain and you don’t have any accidents with curries or other. So travelling light means you can get out of the airport nice and quick.
People with large bags in the lockers should be asked to let the light travellers exit the plane before clogging up the aisle. This doesn’t seem to be applied which is a shame and something that should bring out our grumpy side.
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A similar Grump - note I completely accept my time keeping, this has been evaluated. However, I would be lying if I said it was likely to improve.
So for context - sorry for the long version.
My GF is on Holiday with Family in Turkey. The idea is for me to travel a couple of days later due to me handing over a project.
Walk around with client goes on longer than expected. I rush home, finish packing my bags and taxi to the airport. Pushing it for time.
B’ham Airport, from experience is 5-10 mins top through security. Going through security bag gets moved into the ‘to be checked’ section. Everyone seems to be moving slower whilst the clock hands are moving quicker. Eventually, they open my bag, pull out a 250ml shampoo (in Bham you are allowed 2L)and go through the analysis process. All clear!!
Now this has taken 30+ minutes, I sprint - in my terms - to the gate, Closed. Planes still there on the Tarmac, still attached to gate and still onboarding. Too late Mr Lynch. So I missed my flight.
I get it, I understand, security, protocols, my time keeping, etc. I throw it in to the “to learn from experience” part of my brains filing system. Book another flight later that day from Gatwick and off I go on the Train. On Journey buy a 4 pack of beers, drink 2 and put the other two in my luggage alongside my shampoo on the basis I had enough time for any security checks.
So I rock up to security, put my bag on the scanner, pass through the personal scanner and stand in the line for bag checks in preparation and wouldn’t you know it. My bag cleared security and didn’t need checking. Same bottle of shampoo with the addition of a couple of beers and not a flinch from security 
.
Finally arrived in Turkey, almost 10 hours late, a couple of hundred quid short, to the sharp tongue of my GF. At least I still had two beers to comfort me 
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Are you related to my missus?
My bag would have been packed and by the door before going to work.
Pffft, disorganised people (one of whom I’m married to)
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Yeah that stuck out to me too. I am very much one to not bother packing until the night before, but if you have something before the flight which will take an unspecified amount of time I would have made sure the bag was ready to go when collecting. My wife starts packing two weeks before going anywhere.
My “best” rush through an airport was a work trip to somewhere via Amsterdam on KLM. Very small plane from my local airport, lands in Amsterdam late and I have to get off, run through various security checks and work out where my onward flight was and get there before they took off without me. Arrived at the gate, sweaty and flustered, and was greeted by staff impressed that I’d got these so quickly. Onto bus, out to plane just in time and settled into my seat. The stewardess looked at me quizzically, she looked familiar, in fact the whole plane looked familiar … it was the same damn plane I’d just got off from! I know they couldn’t just let me stay on it, but seriously there wasn’t an easier way? 
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I have a few reasons that I could use to defend myself, however, you are not far from the truth.
Even now, I am thinking of ways to excuse myself. Infact, I am going to convince myself that I am not disorganised, just very relaxed in my planning 
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I have got to say, that did make me chuckle.
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Liam seems to have been stuck in about 1995 for 30 years.
That reminds me of that old Jackie Mason routine where the price of a coffee goes up 50¢ for every Italian word they add to it.
I just ask for a “black coffee” and hope for the best.
Me: Can I have a black coffee, please?
Barista: That’s called an Americano.
Me: OK, can I have a black Americano, please?
Barista: Do you want anything with that?
Me: Yes, a cup.
I always used to think coffee tasted better in the Netherlands for some reason. I thought it might have been the coffee that they used, but I eventually worked out that they still serve filter coffee. An Americano is an Espresso topped up with hot water, and it isn’t the same thing.
I get lost at coffee, tea drinker only way to go
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I will never forget my 1st and only visit to a Starbucks. I was with my kids and they were saying how good it was.
I took my usual double espresso, which had a silly name so my kids had to order it. They took other stuff.
I took a sip of my coffee and it was fucking disgusting. I told my kids who said ‘try this’ offering me their straws. So sucked a sip of each. Wtf water with sugar in it, even the cream and other shit in it tasted of either water with sugar in it or just plain sugar, some of the bits tasted like raw cane sugar which after all that shit was a nice touch.
Costa coffee ask for a double espresso and the server says it’s not a double espresso it’s a … ‘you what?’ ok I’ll have 2 espressos.
Being the grumpy old thread that’s right up there with “Can I get…”, unless you are American in which case you are excused
My daughter is going through a Matcha phase, so all of the above but at the very end you just get a nasty aftertaste of grass.
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Do explain.
Life was better back then.
Just a spoon of maxwell house or Nescafe on a cup with boiling water, milk/cream and sugar are optional.
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“I took…” rather than “I had…” is an Americanism, similar to “Can I get…” rather than “Can I have…”. Used more here now as common in TV and social media etc. One of my grumps 
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Where is the boke emoji when you need one
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Where are you from?
It’s pretty common where I come from and in general the west country.
Anyway if it’s about being ‘correct’ then shouldn’t it be ‘wanted’ and ‘ordered’.
It’s like ‘comprehend’, noone used that when I was in the UK. Is it an Americanism?
I always used the English ‘understand’.
Times and things change so I suppose that’s what makes us grumpy.