At the first glance I thought it’s Tintin
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Just reading Flobs post in what’s happening.
Another Grump of mine, is carryon luggage.
What is it with loads of people being allowed carryon luggage way over the specified size, and then my wife and I, with our small carry-on, can’t fit it in the overhead lockers assigned for our seats as some twonk has put their oversized effing luggage in it.
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Your carryon baggage is supposed to fit under the seat Infront of you. That’s why it’s size and shape restricted.
Any other luggage they make you pay for which varies on the options you take.
When I went with my son and grandson we took a family option with Ryanair that allowed us a carryon bag each, 2 cabin cases (to go into the overhead lockers and could be quite large) and 2 massive cases in the hold (which you have to wait for) and the choice of a pram car seat or another hold bag. Anyway I think it was that, we definitely took a lot for a week and a half holiday.
It’s not evident what’s what. For a weekend a change of socks and pants can be enough if it doesn’t rain and you don’t have any accidents with curries or other. So travelling light means you can get out of the airport nice and quick.
People with large bags in the lockers should be asked to let the light travellers exit the plane before clogging up the aisle. This doesn’t seem to be applied which is a shame and something that should bring out our grumpy side.
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A similar Grump - note I completely accept my time keeping, this has been evaluated. However, I would be lying if I said it was likely to improve.
So for context - sorry for the long version.
My GF is on Holiday with Family in Turkey. The idea is for me to travel a couple of days later due to me handing over a project.
Walk around with client goes on longer than expected. I rush home, finish packing my bags and taxi to the airport. Pushing it for time.
B’ham Airport, from experience is 5-10 mins top through security. Going through security bag gets moved into the ‘to be checked’ section. Everyone seems to be moving slower whilst the clock hands are moving quicker. Eventually, they open my bag, pull out a 250ml shampoo (in Bham you are allowed 2L)and go through the analysis process. All clear!!
Now this has taken 30+ minutes, I sprint - in my terms - to the gate, Closed. Planes still there on the Tarmac, still attached to gate and still onboarding. Too late Mr Lynch. So I missed my flight.
I get it, I understand, security, protocols, my time keeping, etc. I throw it in to the “to learn from experience” part of my brains filing system. Book another flight later that day from Gatwick and off I go on the Train. On Journey buy a 4 pack of beers, drink 2 and put the other two in my luggage alongside my shampoo on the basis I had enough time for any security checks.
So I rock up to security, put my bag on the scanner, pass through the personal scanner and stand in the line for bag checks in preparation and wouldn’t you know it. My bag cleared security and didn’t need checking. Same bottle of shampoo with the addition of a couple of beers and not a flinch from security 
.
Finally arrived in Turkey, almost 10 hours late, a couple of hundred quid short, to the sharp tongue of my GF. At least I still had two beers to comfort me 
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Are you related to my missus?
My bag would have been packed and by the door before going to work.
Pffft, disorganised people (one of whom I’m married to)