I hope you are all well. I haven’t been active on TAN because my mum’s health has been declining since December, when she went into hospital for a few days. She would get better for a month or so then her blood test would not be so good and the GP would refer back into in hospital again in the New Year.
My beloved, wonderful mum passed away on 23rd February after six days in hospital. I was with mum throughout this time. Mum was a fighter, doctors thought she wouldn’t last two days as she was going into septic shock, after so many underlying conditions with acute kidney injury etc. Fortunately mum’s dementia was stable for the last 8 years where she didn’t lose her ability to recognise people, she would just forget dates and timings.
I was extremely fortunate that the wonderful doctors and nurses allowed me to stay in mum’s room during the whole time. They really took care of my mum and tried their best to get mum better. When they said that I needed call close family or friends, I tried hard not to cry in front of Mum too much. I held mum’s hand, talked as much as I could and hugged mum until her last breath, she wasn’t in any pain thankfully, was sleeping a lot of the time and would open her eyes look to see if I was there, she looked so serene and beautiful. God had plans for mum, which I resented at first, but I then I realised she is with my Dad now and she is in a better place.
It has been very hard coping without Mum, I really miss mum a lot. The house seems so empty, even when mum was at home, abit under the weather, at least mum was there in the house and we could talk, eat and watch tv together, especially the matches with her witty commentary. I wanted to come on TAN and post, but I had so many visitors coming for condolences and then I had to go away for abit, just to get away from my surroundings and I was so overwhelmed with seeing so many people and coping with own my grief.
I was at the cemetery yesterday during the match. It was a beautiful day. I felt I had to be there with mum so she wouldn’t miss out. Her garden is a beautiful and peaceful spot, near a cherry blossom tree and you can hear the birds sing. Mum would have been so proud of the boys winning the elusive FA cup. Mum always made sure that the F.A cup day was a big family event when I was growing up.
I am not okay tbh, but I feel abit better from the previous day. I have a long way to go to get to get ‘okay’ status, I hope to get there somehow, so please bear with me if I post irrationally from time to time.
I have truly missed TAN family, I am really sorry I wasn’t there to cheer and moan the highs and lows in the match threads with you all.
Best wishes to you all.