Reminds me a quote from the timeless 2001 classic, “Evolution”.
When a rapidly evolving alien transforms into a giant mucus blob and literally starts rolling over everything in its path to consume it,
David Duchovny’s character exclaims,
“That’s evolution?!”
To which Julienne Moore’s character replies,
“Survival of the fittest. Often, the simplest organism is the strongest.”
That’s Arsenal, a giant mucus blob.
It is textbook Arsenal that they upset about the Madueke decision, one where he grabs the defender’s arm then throws himself to the floor, while conveniently forgetting the 3 handballs in one sequence that Saka was allowed to get away with. There is one angle Ive seen of that incident that suggests the last of the touches was actually important in taking the ball away from a PSG player and allowing him to clear.
Indeed. It’s disgusting to see the very first of those financially doped, state-owned clubs now being hailed as the next-best thing after sliced bread. I say: fuck them.
But on the other hand, I’m also glad that Lego-man couldn’t put his paws on the cup. His arrogance would have been unbearable, had he won it. And his way of playing football is even more unbearable, so only for that, it’s a good thing that they lost.
But let’s not be naive: football was always going to be the loser with one of these two winning.
Article may be behind paywall.
At some level, you have to admire the sheer craftsmanship with which this Arsenal team wastes time – the awesome discipline and concentration with which everyone suppresses their individual will to play their role in the collective theatrical endeavour. This must be what Mikel Arteta means by “culture”.
…
If Arsenal are unpopular with neutrals, it’s because they waste everyone’s time. Not just their opponents’ time, but our time too. Football fans everywhere are suffering Arsenal’s consequences. They are like a company that spews pollution into the environment in their production process, privatising the profits and socialising the costs. To them, dumping toxic sludge into the river is just free waste disposal. It’s the rest of us who get a headache when we drink the tap water.
Don’t hold back Ken.
This is the other one I love from the same article:
Take the 40 seconds we collectively wasted, as a planet, watching Mosquera get booked for taking that throw too slowly. Uefa reckons that 150 million people watch the Champions League final – 40 seconds times 150 million is six billion seconds. This action represented a futile waste of 190 years of precious human life. These billions of wasted seconds are a negative externality of Arteta’s game model.
Ken Early is really fantastic.
So all we need to do is pump Head & Shoulders into Arteta’s rectum and we should be fine.
He likes being Early, hence Arsenal’s time wasting delaying every action vexes him so.
Those on the soccer subreddit have no sense of humour about Ken Early’s satirical article. Most of them are so butt hurt about the criticism on time wasting. The reason: If you don’t like it, don’t watch. However, CL final is supposed to be the pinnacle of European Clubs football, why wouldn’t football fans want to watch the match?
Arsenal fans in general have been very sensitive about criticism of them. The funny thing is the more often they serve us shit and call it ice cream the more people dislike them.
Successful clubs are disliked. If people like you it’s because you’re inoffensive like Fulham. For some weird reason in this social media age fanbases don’t find it enough to support and love their own team, they also want everyone to love them too.
My cousin supports Arsenal. He often talks about how much he loves Wenger’s style. He complains about how Arteta’s football has gone down the wrong route. But like most football supporters, in the end, after not winning the league for so long, he just want it to get over the line, no matter how ugly the football is.
I did tease him about the CL final though.
I was at University in 2005 and I did say to my friend that it was effective if dull. Didn’t expect to see a final like ours mind.
I’ve never much cared what rival fans think. It’s like the asterix garbage, we won the title effectively on the last weekend before the lockdown with City’s loss to Man Utd.
If there was any title that deserved an asterix is the following season.
They’re sensitive because deep down (well not that deep down, they’re mostly rather shallow, not unlike their “unique” own football song catalogue) they know it’s true.
Same level as Pochettino’s Tottenham. The way they hype Rice because they don’t have any real star is ridiculous.
IMO Poch’s Tottenham were wayyy better! They just had injuries and lacked just enough consistency to not get over the line but they were damn close to both winning the CL and the PL during their brief spark. They took out probably near prime City in the CL semis.
Poch’s spurs would give this Arsenal a sound beating.
Penalties conceded in the 25-26 PL - 0
Red cards conceded in the 25-26 PL - 0
CL games lost, before the CL Final - 0
Losses across all comps in 25-26 after scoring first, before the CL Final - 0
Shots on target in the second half of the CL Final - 0
Missed penalties across all comps, before the CL Final - 0
European trophies…you see where I’m going with this…
If they had some penalties to save they may have been better.
Odd considering their tactics it looked like Raya hadn’t bothered practicing.
I know they say it’s hard for players to practice and I understand that but a goalie can.
Not sure if it was Kloppo saying it, or it was implied that the way we played football is “the means justifying the end”, it’s the journey. When you watch Arteta’s Arsenal, particularly the last 2 years, it’s more like the end justifying the means.
The one where he dived while the player was deep in his run up was special.