Fixed it for you 
2 Likes
Really hate the Google ‘summer’ adverts. Partly the music, but mostly the fakeness of the whole thing while trying to emotionally manipulate you.
2 Likes
You do know how advertising works, right?
1 Like
Insects.
Yes, I know that they have evolved over millions of years to fill their niche roles in the great scheme of things and that we couldn’t survive if they didn’t exist… but they aren’t much use when they end up floating in my pint.
Idiots.
1 Like
The problem I have with them is them ending up in my ear, nose, mouth and above all eyes when I’m driving with my windows open as the air conditioning doesn’t work.
Also the other day I went to wash the daughters car (she’s too short to do the roof) It looked lovely. We drove the 5 minutes back to my house and there was 2mm of tiny flies stuck on the roof and bonnet, what a was of time and money cleaning the damn car. 
I suppose I could be thankfully it was not 2mm of saharan orange dust.
Been absolutely steaming drunk at 3pm in the afternoon at a works do at the Horse races
wandering away 2 miles odd from the venue,
falling into a bush, covering your self in scratches
and loosing your expensive Hugo Boss wallet containing £85, and a few betting slips!
2 Likes
You have slightly confused me Bonus. How do you know you had £85 left in your wallet after such a piss up?
Were the drinks free?
I had 100 on me, i put on 3 bets, a fiver on each race,
we had a tab at the table, (which my boss paid, I only found out the next day)
that is all spent, that I can mind of anyway! 
So i guessing (but pretty sure) there was £85 in my wallet.
Oh and there were free bottles of white wine at each table, and not everyone was drinking,
so the bottles where put on my table.
Flies. Seem to have a house full of them if I leave a door or window open for more than a couple of minutes.
I’ve taken to preparing a small meal for them when we have ours in a bid to keep them away. 2 cm’s of sausage, half a chip and 3 peas placed on a 50p piece on the floor. You should try it.
or put a bag of coins in a clear plastic bag of water and hang it up by the door… you will never get a fly in the house again… Google it 
1 Like
Someone told me that recently. Does it work?
The wife had about half a dozen of these hung up last summer and I can confirm that it made absolutely fuck all difference.
She then left them hanging out for months until they’d all torn, the water had gone and the coins were leaving rust rings on the patio before I caved and cleaned the nonsense up.
I found the best way to not have flies in the house was to not have neighbours with chickens. Next best way was to have clean tidy neighbours (not ones that smelt of chicken shit).
It’s like mosquitos, just don’t have stagnating water lying about.
Just have couple of geckos and frogs. 
Best if shiny coins are used… something to do with the reflections through the water, to the flies anyway, give the appearance of eyes from a fly predator of sorts.!!!
Tried it once, but not really pestered with flies so it was hard to judge…!
Did read somewhere once, that if bothered with midges when in the garden etc… wear a straw hat, but wrap one of those sticky fly-trap papers around the brim… Apparently it really does do the trick in trapping them! 
Even Jurgen is plagued by them :0)
Piers Morgan. Because I don’t know of a more high profile asshole with a similar large online following outside the US.
3 Likes
Thats all you had to say. 
4 Likes
I’m scared of multi-quoted posts.
1 Like
The apocalyptic rain that’s made the last week wetter than a haddock’s bathing costume. And automatic Transit vans that get themselves stuck in muddy fields.
People who buy transit vans that automatically get stuck in muddy fields. 
1 Like