Watching rice boil!
Your hungry everything is ready except the rice even after rolling and smoking a cigarette there it is still boiling and there I am watching it. It’s worst than watching paint dry as it just makes you feel even hungrier.
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Don’t watch, don’t pay attention. That’s the rule. You didn’t know???
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“A watched kettle never boils”… That’s the phrase we use here
Besides, rice should only be simmered anyway 
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Stupid saying, if I’m boiling a kettle it’s because I want a coffee in which case I’m not hungry, if I’m thirsty I drink a glass of water.
Ok Mr pedantic your correct however I was using poetic licience to stress the point. I will have you know I am an excellent cook (chef). With my rice I had a lovely hot beef stew that made my nose run but didn’t make my eyes water! 
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People who spit chewing gum out on the street without volleying it,fucking dickheads.
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Not running/dripping into the stew I would hope…
Unless you got Ancelotti with ya for lunch.!
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People who volley their chewing gum onto the top of my head. Dirty bastards
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Dear Queen,
Take your extended dysfunctional family and fuck off somewhere where I never have to see/hear about you again.
Ta.
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Seeing empty Taxi’s going faster then when they’ve got passengers in them, I’m guessing they know where they’re fucking going as well,the shady cunts.
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Fucking birds.
They craped on my newish car. 2 spots on the bonnet, one on the roof and one on the boot. Caused the paint to flake up the size of 50p piece. Never know birdshit to do anything like it.
Got to get the car respayed. $1000 because of bird shit !
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Wow, what are the birds eating around your area? 
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If you’re parking underneath fucking birds then it might not be shit.
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Get them to wax it while there at it!
Birds and lizards crap also includes their piss which is highly concentrated urea (that’s the white part). Regularly waxing your car should help, overnight put a hauling over the car (they aren’t expensive but gets tiresome putting it on and taking it off when it’s covered in shit). As a last resort cut the trees down!. Other than that there’s not much you can do if you haven’t a roof to park your car under.
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Why does Zoran have this emoji 
in almost all of his recent posts?
I haven’t a clue about @Zoran, but I always try to finish posts and texts with this emoji. Because that’s what I look like. It’s like a signature for me.
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That’s probably the most used one. I don’t know, I like to joke, also at my/our own expense sometimes.
It’s healthy.
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It can also mean I can find/you should find this funny?
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On the radio the other day about the easing of lockdowns and hearing that from Monday “beauty salons and non-essential shops will now be able to re-open”.
Beauty salons are the very epitome of non-essential. The amount of people on social media that I’ve seen give a shit about a haircut is ridiculous. I’ve been cutting my own hair through the pandemic with clippers and I’m never going to go to the hairdressers again.
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Boy racers.
My nearest A-road is over a mile from me but I can still hear them revving their engines and making loads of completely unnecessary noise.
Wankers.
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I’m absolutely sure that there are quite a few people who’ll tell you about the mental anguish and damage that lockdown’s done to them by not being able to have a haircut or manicure.
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