A guy said his mate Jack invented the hot tub…
I said, “Jack? Who’s he.?”
Taxi… 
A blonde woman, tired of all the blonde jokes, decided to dye her hair brown and go for a drive in the countryside. She stopped when she saw a shepherd with a large herd of sheep. She said, “If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?”
The shepherd agreed. She guessed, “382.” The shepherd was shocked—she was right! So she picked up a sheep and started walking away.
Then the shepherd called out, “If I can guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?”
Her husband saw her and pointed incredulously at her hair. “What the Hell do you call that?”, he enquired.
His wife shrugged and said, “Artificial intelligence.”
Nice outfit though
A man who swallowed a Scrabble set was told by doctors that he could expect severe vowel movements and his next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
What’s the difference between a soybean and a chickpea? I’ve never had a soybean on my face…
The correct answer is You don’t have to pay to have a soybean on your face 
This topic was automatically closed after reaching the maximum limit of 4000 replies. Continue discussion at The thread for jokes that don’t meet Flobs’ exacting standards (Part 2).