Who put that post there?
… ding dang sure!
I walked to Target years ago to buy a big 3 wheel pram for jnr (we’d intentionally left baby one at home) For $99 and 5 cup holders, epic deal. I bought it then went to customer services to ask if I could build it there and they dispose of the packaging then I could walk back to the hotel with it.
Never sure what surprised them more. Somebody wanted to build a pram in the store or that somebody had walked to Target. They had to get management over as the request just didn’t compute. Probably still telling the story today. I know I am.
Tom and Alicia are staying in a hotel and after a romantic evening wining and dining they go off to bed. However, as soon as they settle down, Tom (not quite ready for slumber) leans over and whispers softly:
“Hey snuggle boopy doops, your little hubby wubby isn’t quite ready for nighty-nighty yet.”
Alicia takes the hint and says “OK, but I have to use the bathroom first.”
So off she goes but on her way back she trips over a piece of carpet and lands flat on her face.
Tom jumps up and exclaims in a concerned tone, “Oh my precious little honey bunny, is your noseywosey all righty?” No harm is done, so she jumps into bed and they have mad passionate sex for three hours.
Afterwards, Alicia goes off to the bathroom again, but on her way she trips over the same piece of carpet and again lands flat on her face on the floor.
Tom looks over and silently grunts, “Clumsy Bitch…”
A pirate walks into a bar with a huge ships wheel attached to his crotch…
The bartender looks at him, puzzled, and asks “Sir, do you realize that you have a ship’s wheel attached to your crotch?”
To which the pirate replies, “Aye! It’s drivin’ me nuts!”
This is gold 
