Disclaimer in anticipation of the usual assumption makers wading in - I dont follow this bloke, nor do I know who he is. This does not represent my views either way, I just found it amusing.
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you can only turn right from the slip lane, and the sign couldn’t be mounted on the drivers right from the slip lane because it would have been hard to see from where it would have needed to mounted.
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A little girl was leaning into a lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, all under the eyes of her screaming parents:
A biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back, letting go of the girl, and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
A BBC reporter, Laura Kuenssberg, had watched the whole event.
Laura, addressing the Harley rider says. "Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I’ve seen a man do in my whole life.”
The Harley rider replies. "Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.”
Miss Kuenssberg. "Well, I’ll make sure this won’t go unnoticed. I’m a BBC journalist, you know and tomorrow’s news will run this story. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?”
The biker replies. "I’m a British Army veteran, a Conservative and I voted for Brexit.”
The journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker turns on BBC News to see if it indeed brings news of his actions.
BBC Headline: RIGHT WING UK VETERAN ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH.
And THAT pretty much sums up the fucking BBC’s approach to the news these days…
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@mods Can we please have a rolleyes reaction thingy? Thanks.
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A witty pun about a sailing trip has been named the funniest joke at this year’s Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
Comedian Mark Simmons was voted the winner with his gag: "I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it.”
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I had a wank over my ex g/f last night.
I know it’s wrong, but I still have a set of keys and she’s a really heavy sleeper
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Scientists have revealed that beer contains small amounts of female hormones.
In a clinical test, they made 100 men each drink 12 pints of beer.
The results proved conclusive.
100% of test participants started talking nonsense and none of them could drive.
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