An older man and a younger guy were pushing their carts around Walmart when they collide…
The old man says to the younger guy,
“Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”
The younger guy says,
“That’s OK, it’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.”
The old man says, “Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?”
The younger guy says, “Well, she is tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?”
To which the old man says, “Doesn’t matter, let’s look for yours.”
I’ve always called that ‘The Bifkins Bridge’. Or the ‘Bifkins’ for short. As in, ‘I fell over the back of the chair, and the backrest caught me right in the Bifkins’
I have tried. I really have but I just don’t get this…
Unless I’m missing something it’s just the idea that someone thinks a feather is called a “bird leaf” and they were corrected.
And it got 3 laughs..
Maintaining a horse with staples, etc. does not come cheap though.
You not seen any jokes by @aussielad ?..seriously compared to him, this guy should be filling out national stadiums worldwide🤣
Are they big on making pamphlets and the like?
Two factory workers are talking…
The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.”
The man asks, “And how would you do that?”
The woman says, “Just wait and see.”
She then hangs upside down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and asks, “What are you doing?”
The woman replies, “I’m a light bulb.”
The boss then says, “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.”
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, “Where are you going?”
The man says, “I’m going home, too. How am I supposed to work in the dark?”
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs, using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which soulds enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So, which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, “it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct … leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting “Oh my God”