I had two experiences recently that focused my thinking on the (very wearing) notion that “most people are moderate and just want to get on and along”.
The first experience. One evening, about a week ago, I was at a local pub, working on a couple of things, after I’d fed the wife and kids. A older lady was on the table opposite and we occasionally chat some niceties and she caught me as I was about to leave. This time however, she clearly had a bee in her bonnet. She let me have it in spits and spurts over about 15 painful minutes. She said, she had recently confronted a black man (in an aggressive manner) while on her way to work and then posted it on an internal work blog. This has now resulted in her now facing a disciplinary hearing. Within and around that central subject was everything from, ALL lives matter, its not our fault that slavery was just a thing that people did back then, that it happens now and it isn’t white people doing it and we don’t hear anything about that and that why does she have to take a diversity course or the unconscious bias course and of course the crowing outcry of where is the group standing up for simple white folk?.. I stood there, listened politely and left. As a person of colour I found it quite uncomfortable and worrying in equal measure.
The second experience was yesterday, I was walking to the same said establishment, again to have a quiet pint and finish off a few bits and bobs workwise when I noticed a couple of young boys ahead of me. They cannot have been more than 12 or so. One had a can of something (that I later discovered was dog food) that he had opened and was emptying the contents across the street and also occasionally kicking the can about the floor. To my surprise the boy came across to the side of the street I was walking on to put the can into the recycling bin of a house. As I went by he produced another can and asked, “Do you want a can of dog food?”, I politely replied, No thank-you", to which he quipped, “Are you sure you don’t want the dog food boy’ie, you look like you could eat it”. I just walked on but now contemplating whether I’d enjoy my pint as much as I thought I was going to…
What I find quite concerning is that here you have two completely different demographics, feeling emboldened to confront me in quite an obviously unsocial and antisocial manner and it feels like I should expect it - I almost wanted to apologise to the older lady for having to do all those courses and refusing to take the dog food… I cannot help but think that this is to some extent the fruits of the current administration’s policy of being ambiguous with all inequality issues and thus fomenting discord. These were two “regular” members of society. This may not have been in your face racism but did their need to divulge their grievance and unburden themselves of dogfood, respectively, to me, be partly based on the fact that I is the only brown person in the village? There were plenty of others about that could have borne the brunt of the lady’s ire or profited by the gift of a can of dog food…
On a more broad setting, even when a senior conservative came out in support of the kneeling by footballers, he still seemed to introduce enough of a grain of grey that left open the interpretation the though the footballers suffer discrimination and want to spread awareness of that, broadly it might not be a problem and systemically everything is fine.
I have not mentioned this before, and will not do so again, but I have two kids. One looks white and the other looks brown. It is quite dispiriting that I have spent many a night (and the occasional day) worrying disproportionally more about the onward trajectory of one of my children purely due to their hue…