Sounds like someone’s just trying to legalise his actions…
Here’s my pitch to become leader of the Conservative party:
I will cut taxes to the bone especially for corporations and the wealthy.
I will cut services and public sector staff to a bare minimum while expecting increased performance.
I will mine the Channel and send the RAF to strafe any non British shipping. All illegal migrants will be sent to South Georgia.
I will impose a blanket ban on all imports from the EU (except champagne obvs).
I will sell the BBC to Rupert Murdoch for a nominal sum.
I will dismantle all environmental protection legislation and hand the entire issue over to BP and Shell.
Do I stand a chance?
I think you need to get some runs on the board first and show some genuine sleaze. Can you get ‘handsy’ or something?
Also the below have already been done. May need to go further as shown in bold:
Think if you include Lowland and North of England clearances, a massive increase in fracking and repatriation of immigrants over the last 25 (maybe even 50) years, then you’re a shoe in. Right?
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Think it would also help if you’ve been found out to have had a romp with Nadine and Pritti , where you then state that you are humbled by the experience and it’s time to draw a line under the whole thing, so you can continue to court Anne Widdecombe.
That’s to show you would do anything for this country…can even wave the flag to show how patriotic you are.
Lets not forget that @Bekloppt is, despite his protestations, the australian Craig Johnston. Unfortunately he’s actually done some shit so that’s going to work against him but, if he is prepared to pretend he is actually a deprived scottish ‘Craig Johnston’ then I think his horrific rap sheet may garner more credibility with the tory ‘research’ group types.
Obviously I’d be positioning myself as a moderate
Non dom mate. It’s all the rage.
Any sort of dom (except cummins) is okay - Big Domme, non dom, dom perignon…
The sad fact is: probably, yes.
Remember that these candidates are not trying to appeal to the general public but to Conservative Party members.
There is probably a good deal of horse trading going on at the moment with potential candidates promising favour and patronage to fellow MPs who will offer their support but when it gets down to the last two and they will be appealing to the card holding party members.
I’m not entirely sure of the demographics of the Tory party now but it was traditionally weighted towards an elderly membership who probably were conservative in the neutral sense of the word but tended to think that everything was wonderful in the good old days. Since Brexit there has been a lot of entryism by people with far more extreme views. Expect potential candidates to appeal to them with the kind of policies that would have found them on a gallows at Nürnberg.
Shit I didn’t even realise @Bekloppt was Craig Johnston. I was trying to work out why this right wing nut job thought he owned the place. Fucker changing both his name and avatar (latter probably causing me the most confusion) in quick succession doesn’t help.
hahahha
You’re all just figments of my imagination
My pitch as a man of the people
- Bring back fox hunting
- Be tough on crime, while reducing cost of policing by 30%
- Provide Eurostar tickets to Paris for all illegal refugees.
- Establish the oligarchs support scheme for those fleeing Russia.
- Provide fast pass optional upgrade for the NHS (like Disneyland offer)
- ensure all school children pledge allegiance to the Union Jack.
- New anti woke legislation
- Cutting so much red tape you will think there has been a parade.
- Leveling up by making London even more commutable.
- Fixing the economy , that was damaged so badly from the last labour government.
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I think beklopt and Ismf need to contact Martin Lewis directly and let him know what they are going to do 
Edit *
Just waiting for the moderate Klopptimist to enter the fray, because I’m beginning to suspect you two are on a wind up👀
I don’t see the problem. People should just get second (or third or fourth) jobs. Would help them pay bills while also reducing them because you don’t need to heat while you’re out delivering pizzas.
The more time people spend at work, the lower their bills will be.
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I know this is meant as satire but you’re not far off PM.
Why should the taxpayer have to pay for the return tickets to Paris ? Make them walk
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