I keep reading on social media this, ‘The players are looking super fit and lean’ narrative…decided to have a look on the Caf to see wtf they’re on about.
Aside from clearly clutching at straws, this tickled me fancy…
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Fucking hell is this still going on?
https://x.com/TimesSport/status/1945832046288671227
Well then everything is fine, priorities and so on 
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New bid for Mbeumo. £65million + £5million add-ons.
How many weeks have they messed around with the deal, and ended up paying top dollar anyway?
Still, annoying that he’s going there. Cunha and Mbeumo have the workrate to cause teams problems, so I hope the rotten culture within the club infects them and they falter away.
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So they’re going to end up paying £10m more than they would have done at the start of the window, before Brentford jacked up the price?
Good process, guys.
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Mbeumo is quality, so it’s a tad annoying to see him go there, but the reality is that this shower of shite are still a bottom-half team with a shite GK, mediocre defense, no actual wingbacks, a shite midfield and no actual strikers. They have a couple of decent #10s though, so I guess it’s all fine?
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Yeah, he’s a great little player - but there is some consolation in Man United doing the deal the way they’ve been doing it since Fergie’s retirement, i.e. dragging out the process and ending up paying what the selling club had originally asked for. Cunha might be crazy and Mbeumo underrated but I think they will do a lot of heavy lifting that majority of their players didn’t do last season.
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I think they’ll continue to be an absolute spud of a team and Ruben will be shot out of the Ineos cannon by season’s end.
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From your lip to God’s ear, hermano
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Both Cunha and Mbuemo are solid players.
I think they’ll make Amad into a wingback which isn’t necessarily a bad idea even if it’s one borne out of desperaation.
The problem still remains that their midfield duo of Ugarte / Casemiro / Mainoo is slow and liable to get exposed. Casemiro doesn’t have legs over a full half of a football match. Mainoo is very slow too. A 3 man midfield will breeze past them as if they aren’t even present.
The other contenders in the midfield are Bruno (lol) and Mount (lol). Both of them stick out massively. That formation doesn’t suit them even assuming Mount stays fit for a period of time.
In short , They are screwed there and have no inclination to fix that mess.
They might be okay in defence but Onana is still going to be their keeper and it only takes a mistake from him for the rest of the defenders to go full panic mode.
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Apparently, they are looking to buy Martinez from Aston Villa to put Onana out of his misery.
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You forget that Cunha is also a complete basketcase and a liability so once he starts allowing Bruno and co to set their poisonous attitude into his mentality he will become as big a problem as the rest of them.
Mbeumo looks to be throwing his career down the crapper with this move.
Martinez isn’t going to solve their problems in the long term. He’s 32 years old. Sure he might make them stronger in the short term but Onana will still be in the club.
They’ll still be in the mess they are. Kicking the can further down the road won’t help them. I love it.
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Coaching Staff: We have a squad mental and attitude problem that we need to fix
Recruitment Staff: I know, lets add another cunt of a person to an already cuntish squad
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And knowing United’s luck. They’ll pay upwards of 40m for Martinez a 4 year contact only for him to totally lose his goalkeeping skills by the second season
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Cunha is probably like Suarez. It takes someone like Gerrard with good leadership skills etc to manage him.
Who does United have that can take Cunha to task ?
Bruno , Slabby ?
Exactly, which is why I say that as much as he is a good player, signing him is a massive red flag.
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Big Jim “lets employ a barber to show them they are cunts”
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