Sorry was too fast.
CL fixtures not made yet.
I have had a recurring fantasy since May 2018.
It is Liverpool v Real Madrid in the CL knockout stages. Liverpool have a corner kick in front of a baying Kop. The score doesnât matter, itâs irrelevant.
The corner comes into the near post. Sergio Ramos rises majestically into the warm, early Spring night sky. Virgil van Dijk (Nat Phillips will do nicely in his place) times his run perfectly from the edge of the penalty area and hits Ramos at full pelt while the absolute wanker is at the apex of his leap.
Anfield falls silent as Ramos performs an involuntary somersault mid-air, his glistening white teeth are clearly visible in the glow of the Anfield floodlights as he letâs out a scream of pain in response to the broken ribs he now possesses. It is a genuine scream unlike the girly, shithouse kind he has perfected to con referees into believing he has been fouled throughout his career.
There is an audible thud as he face-plants the Anfield turf and several of his afore-mentioned glistening white teeth fly out of his gob in various directions. He wont eat solids for a good few weeks. His missing teeth have chewed their last Paella.
The massive cunt is loaded onto a stretcher and carted off in agony as the Anfield crowd rediscovers itâs voice and celebrates with the same vigour it celebrated big Divockâs winner against Barcelona in 2019.
The End.
The extent of Ramosâs injuries have been toned down in this version so as not to offend the delicate sensibilities of some TAN patrons
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I like that invisible fence they use in the USA so the next doorâs dog doesnât stray into the neighbourâs garden, the dog gets a mild electric shock.
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@jaffod I love you man 
Like I said before, it really doesnât matter who we play at this stage. What matters is how we play. So Iâm cool with the draw. However, doesnât it looks fishy the Sheikhs and the Tsars have drawn the weakest teams in the pot???
I think Dortmund could surprise. They have lots of firepower and will go at City, they just have a dodgy defense.
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Dortmund attack will definitely trouble City. But their midfield and defense is very average.
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Yeah we wouldnât play two Tuesdays.
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Not really for once. Could make the case for Chelsea considering us and Madridâs form.
But Man City are going have to defeat PSG or Bayern itâs the toughest route to the final.
Dortmund I canât expect doing much but with their forwards I wouldnât wanted to have that to deal with.
Depends if City beat themselves again like they did against Lyon and Spurs.
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Fixed it for you. 
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[quote=âKopstar, post:112, topic:1782, full:trueâ]
There is a slightly worrying flipside to this, if we manage to get forth in the league at the expense of Chelsea, but Chelsea win the Champions League, and Arsenal the Europa League, then we get bumped to the Europa League ⌠now that really would be typical of the kind of season we have had this year!
Relax. Not gonna happen.
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Would someone please move this thread to Cruyff Turn category.
The timing of the first leg, meanwhile, is likely to force a change to Liverpoolâs trip to Arsenal which had been pencilled in for Sunday, April 4 â where a Saturday slot is likely.
Dates confirmed.
Second leg will be Wednesday.
Game vs. Arsenal should be moved to Saturday.
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That would be two Saturdays in a row I canât remember last time we played at a normal time on a Saturday but considering the 3pm kick off it could be swapped for that, likely be the other one at 8pm, canât see them moving their darling City to a less advantageous time slot on the Sunday.
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Iâm not sure how you figured that out but the bookies have us at joint third favourites (more or less) with Chelski at about 6/1 , ahead of both PSG and Real Madrid.
Theyâre certainly not writing us off as no-hopers , and even though I admit it might be a bit of a long shot , neither am I.
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I have to say I fucking love this competition!!!
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I would have had him hit the crossbar on the way down.
My take was that we have one in four chances in each of these confrontations, so:
0,25 x 0,25 x 0,25 = more or less 0,015
(bookies are cunts who want to make easy money on the back of gullible gamblers)