The Manchester United Thread: That's It. That's the Joke (Part 1)

I think Ronaldo could be a very productive player for United, but I took a lot of joy in laughing at City for missing out on Ronaldo after missing out on both Messi and Kane.

I get it, my views on sports in general are not shared by all. I’m demographically removed from experiencing the filth that the Manc fans have spewed over the years, but I’ve heard the stories. However, I like to think that it’s not a reflection of 98% of football fans…just the 2% that are cunts.

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And the flip side to that today every post from out club IG account has only two variations of posts - SIGN SOMEONE, and FSG OUT!

It would be churlish to try to downplay the quality of the players they’ve brought in this summer. I was not convinced that in a season when other sides get their shit together they were a legit top 4 team, but they have definitely solidified that status. However, as Nik alluded to above, I’m far happier with them buying shiny toys than following through with a coherent plan targeted on what they needed to do to improve. Varane, and arguably Snacho are that. Ronaldo is a 100 miles in the wrong direction.

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some of Man Utds new scouts ready for action…

scouts

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That money will be recouped 10 fold, he will bring a bucket load of money in to the club.

How?

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Shirt sales.

Amirite??

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Shirt sales, stock price went up 8% apparently just on the news, might attract new Club sponsorships, so many possibilities.

The dynamics of this are going to be fascinating.

And I don’t doubt for a second that Ronaldo is quite possibly the greatest ever player to pull on a shirt, but fmd…a manager who has literally never won a thing has two chances of getting that squad to work to the point where it overtakes the excellent teams in the PL.

Buckley’s and fuck all.

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No doubt they have a huge fan base.

But most fans who can afford to buy a shirt for the new season these days have probably already done that especially because Sancho came in that early.

How many fans can afford to buy two shirts in one season?

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Maybe the Ronaldo mercenary fans that only follow who he plays for

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wonder if Cavani will give up the #7 shirt… that’ll be a litmus test of club chemistry…

Driving to/from the barber this evening I just had to listen to TalkSport to get a sense of the vibe around today’s events…

If this transfer succeeds the gushing will be unlike anything I have ever seen.

If it goes badly I may finally find out what it’s like to shit my pants laughing.

Some of the callers were off their heads.

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They have worst centre midfield off all the top 6 it’s that whats going to hamper them this was perfectly illustrated against Southampton. So what does Ole do to fix this issue sign a 36 year old forward who isn’t the player he was instead of a midfielder.

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Fuck me. :sweat_smile:

You Already Know GIF by Fergie

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I’m going to be honest- I saw Ronaldo’s move to City as a ticking time-bomb given how much tinkering they would need to do to their entire system to fit him in. So I’m disappointed that he’s gone to the red half.

If there is a team that can accommodate one more into a team full of lazy arseholes it’s United. Do I think they can do some damage in the league? Well, fans often think the league is week after week of top of the table teams clashing but leagues are more often won through consistently putting away the mid and bottom table teams and avoiding those special surprises where they drop points against teams they really shouldn’t.

Does Ronaldo help them with that? I’m not so sure. United have super high highs and shithouse lows and I’m not sure how Ronaldo stops that continuing to happen and also stop some of their players like Pogba downing tools when things get bad. Ronaldo will probably help them thrash some teams, but they’ll still lose against teams they shouldn’t and, given how i can’t remember the last time Ronaldo played well against us (yeah fuck me!), I can’t see him helping against the top teams that will totally pick apart a United team featuring Ronaldo, Bruno, Pogba etc.

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Leanne Sanderson’s take on all of this was particularly moronic, summed up by the statement that the romance of the fairytale is intact because Ronaldo rejected the big-money offer from City to ‘come home’ to Manchester…the big-money offer that is apparently half of what Utd are paying.

Then some dumb cunt said the weather in Torino is the same as Madrid and I drove my car into some gas cylinders hoping for a fiery death.

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Been there. Done that. 17/4/2019

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