The Manchester United Thread: That's It. That's the Joke (Part 1)

[Limiescouse]

7 players offside from the freekick. Ronaldo a full 5 yards offside by the time he gets on the end of it. They all berate the ref for disallowing it.

[Klopptimist]

I am sending that keeper a box of chocolates

[Limiescouse]

God they are an awful group of players. Fernandes has just spent the last 3 minutes in the ref’s face and the moment Jack Stephens engages the ref to petition for Pogba to get the yellow he deserves Pogba reacts by pushing him in the back. All the while Fernandes is still in kissing distance from the ref’s face.

[ShadesOfRed]

It’s the United Way™.

[Wilkored08]

Slop dop…made by a 6 yr old…

[RER]

Scholes not impressed with Rangnick wasnt he the great savior 8 weeks ago.

[mattyhurst]

Resembles the team performance

[Sithbare]

Not a surprise to see sancho scoring , hes probably the only guy who remembers what it is to play modern football

[SixpenceNun]

Tbf, that brings him up level with Coutinhos goal tally for this season and its only taken him 6 months longer. Totally worth 100mil

[PeachesEnRegalia]

Another classic from the newly-opened match thread for their upcoming game against Brighton:

[SixpenceNun]

Does he post that every match? imagine a conversation between him and that alice bird.

“Another game ffs” “is it? Is it another one”
“Its another game” “i dont believe it. How can it be another game?”
“Because its another game ffs” “I cant belive that. It is another game. It actually is another game. Cant believe we’ve got another game”

[PeachesEnRegalia]

@SixpenceNun

Does he post that every match? imagine a conversation between him and that alice bird.

“Another game ffs” “is it? Is it another one”
“Its another game” “i dont believe it. How can it be another game?”
“Because its another game ffs” “I cant belive that. It is another game. It actually is another game. Cant believe we’ve got another game”

“No! No! It can’t be! Is it? Is it really another game? For fuck’s sake! It is. It is. It’s another game. It’s another fucking game. That is ridiculous. Fuck’s sake. Another game. Fuck’s sake.”

I’d still let her sit on my face. I’m sorry @Maria

[Wilkored08]

TMI!!!..how clear can i make it…

[mattyhurst]

The gift that keeps giving especially joyous for any Liverpool fan whose journey with us started in the beginning of the 90s

[Nikola]

Mark Critchley

[aussielad]

𝓗𝓾𝓷𝓮𝓻 ⚽

[Draexnael]

@Mascot

I’m properly impressed with her. She’s brilliant. She’s somehow managed to monetise filming herself being bewildered at football and asking rhetorical, futile questions into the ether. It’s kind of genius.

I mean there is nothing that doesn’t seem to confuse her. Why goals are given? Why they are disallowed? The basic rules of the game. Reality itself.

All her video’s are full of comments along the lines of ‘you’re amazing Alice’, ‘you’re the only reason I watch Utd, Alice’ and ‘please will you bottle one of your farts and post it to me Alice’.

Who the fuck is Alice?

[SBYM]

@PeachesEnRegalia

@wyld.at.hrt

@PeachesEnRegalia

that Alice bird.

I’m quite smitten by her, I must confess.

And lol, at the other guy about Maguire, ‘luckily the pitch is flat otherwise he’d never get up there’

Yeah I wouldn’t say no to her either. That said, I admittedly have very low standards. Isn’t that right, @SBYM?

The lowest, and I’ve partied hard in Berlin.

[SBYM]

@Mascot

'Please will you bottle one of your farts and post it to me Alice’.

I only asked as a joke, but she sent me a fucking magnum, the naughty thing.

Happy to divvy it up, will only charge postage.

PM for details.

@wyld.at.hrt get in quick!

[SBYM]

But srsly…

Someone needs to gif Flying Pig when he’s melting down during the 0-5…

It is quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.