Bruno was the one player that all Utd fans said would get into our XI.
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I would think so, particularly given the number of problems Utd’s squad have right now and the fact Bruno has a new contract. Although it would be understanable if the new guy wanted to use him to set an example.
For me the key question is where does the new manager even start in addressing these. They have so many problems across the team its hard to know where to begin.
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Plenty of players have done it, his comments after the game were alarming mind, “nothing to play for”.
Found that odd, remembering us last season and how desperate that looked. Won today and they were back in for 4th, yes it’s not the best thing but it’s something and playing at the highest level is what I’d want.
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Fernandes is the least of their worries to be honest.
Pogba, Ronaldo, Maguire, Wanka-Biskit, Shaw, the whole McFred mess.What the fuck’s wrong with Rashford?, What to do about De Gea? Can we get anything out of Sancho? Etc etc
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Pogba doneski at United. They’re already a better team
The side is mediocre but it’s pretty easy to solve. A good manager this summer kick out Ronaldo, Pogba and Maguire. They are toxic for different reasons. At their core will undermine change, they are a distraction and frankly not good enough.
Replace that spine with a striker, defensive midfielder and a centre back. All three need to be in 22-25 year old range. All three need to have pace and a physical presence. At least one needs to be a leader.
Do that they will challenge for top 4. The following year they build on that core. That 120 to 180M spend.
Rice alone is 150m
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Good point I forgot to account for United’s recruitment team relying on MOTD 
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I’m reporting this post for offensive material.
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They also need a new pair of FBs, a winger (they can’t rely on Elanga for a full season) and probably a second striker if Ronaldo has gone, as Cavani is leaving, Greenwood is no longer a factor and Rashford has lost whatever he once had.
So that’s, what, minimum 7 new first team starters and a decent backup F, on a reported £120m budget? Yeah, not happening.
I expect they’ll sign a DM, another forward and that will be it. Pogba is out of contract so he’ll go, but Ronaldo and Maguire will stay… not least because in the latter’s case who the hell would buy him?
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Looking at Sancho in recent weeks, I think he’s going to be immense under Ten Hag.
They have a lot of deadwood but I think they won’t struggle to shift them as their contracts are expiring - Pogba, Lingard, Mata, Cavani etc. Not that I think Cavani is deadwood, he’s immense when he plays, it’s just that he struggles to make himself available. Similar goes for Matić - incredible football intelligence and technical ability but he’s not been suitable to this league for years.
I think that Ten Hag will prioritise signing that Anthony lad from Ajax, Tchouameni and/or Rice, probably a striker, too. Kids will surely get a chance, I think Williams and Elanga will be a part of their side next season, maybe Mejbri and Garner as well.
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All they need is to get worst, relegated and have a load of primadonnas crying so I can have a laugh.
Now stop being silly all of you, please, it’s getting so tiresome reading this nonsense, as if we give a fuck!
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Honest appraisal of United’s squad as it stands going in to next season (ie pre any signings this summer):
Out of contract - Pogba, Lingard, Cavani, Mata, Grant
GKs:
De Gea - decent to good shot-stopper, but that’s about it, contributes next to nothing otherwise. Verdict: they’ll keep as no1, he’ll be serviceable but not ideal for Ten Hag’s system
Henderson - like a couple of others in this squad I’ll get to, his reputation seems to grow the more he doesn’t play. Better than De Gea in some regards (distribution), not as good in others (shot-stopping), he’s bang-average but a decent enough backup. That said, he may leave to find more playing time.
Conclusion: Unlikely to see any incomings this summer unless Henderson asks to leave, but definitely will need a signing down the line if they’re to become serious contenders under ETH
CBs:
Maguire - LOL. He honestly looks irredeemable at this point, but he’s there to stay. Fee and wages way too high for any team he’s at the level of to pay, and way below the quality of what teams who could afford him require. Verdict: an albatross who’ll continue to drain United of resources until his contract expires, which seeing as that’s summer 2025 there’s a strong chance he’ll be at OT longer than Ten Hag.
Varane - he’s ok, probably the best of a bad lot but not as good as his reputation upon arrival. Guaranteed starter, but wouldn’t make the XI of ourselves or City.
Lindelof - ehh, he’s fine I guess. He and Varane probably the best pairing they have but it’s hardly formidable.
Bailly - see Henderson, gets better in fans’ minds the less he plays. Probably a candidate to move on, likely for a nominal fee.
Jones - 
Verdict: I can’t see their options changing all that much this summer, the first-choice pairing may change under ETH to Varane and Lindelof but they’re short of title-challenging quality. They’ve made a rod for their own backs with a huge, long-term contract for Maguire so unless they find a way of somehow offloading him it’s hard to imagine them signing the top-level CB they need.
Full backs:
Wan-Bissaka - decent defender but that won’t be enough. Surplus to requirements.
Dalot - more suited to a progressive team than AWB, but not enough quality. Decent backup, but first-choice RB required if they’re to push on.
Shaw - he’s ok. Seems to be past his peak but likely to remain first-choice for now. Patchy fitness record.
Telles - crap, approaching 30, needs to be sold but probably won’t be.
Verdict: AWB and Telles aren’t good enough and Shaw and Dalot would be decent enough backups. However, hard to see the former two leaving just yet so unlikely to see any fresh blood incoming this summer.
DM:
CM:
Fred - mostly crap but will probably stay as he’s the best of a bad lot
McTominay - crap but will stay because pashun
Matic - geriatric
Bruno - his star seems to have well and truly waned now that VAR has limited his ability to cheat his way to 20 pens a season. Has become a petulant, under-performing wastrel, so of course they extended his contract. Will stay, a chance that he could be redeemed by ETH.
De Beek - the idea that he’s some immense talent wasted by Solskjaer has been put to bed by the fact he’s not getting games for a dire Everton side. At least ETH knows him so he’ll probably get a chance but an average player.
Hannibal - supposedly the jewel of their academy, yet the other night while United fans lauded his pashun he looked to me like a bull in a china shop and red card waiting to happen. He’ll no doubt stay and be developed though.
Verdict: A starter (by reputation alone at this point) in Bruno, a jobbing water-carrier in Fred, a bunch of crap they need to sell but probably won’t, an OAP who’s finished at this level and an untested kid who may or may not eventually become good. If Matic and McTominay could somehow be moved on and a quality CM brought in it would be a serviceable midfield at least.
Forwards:
Ronaldo - Past-it statue who admittedly still puts the ball in the net if it’s served on a plate for him. Unfortunately, the squad is light on chance creation. Massive wages mean he’ll stay despite suggestions he’d leave if CL football was not achieved, but who’d have him at this point?
Rashford - a lot of his reputation was based on potential, but it’s reaching the point where it looks like that potential won’t be realised. Is he pissed off with the club/management and so downed tools, or is he just not as good as everyone thought he was? I guess we’ll find out, he won’t be going anywhere.
Sancho - quality player still finding his feet at the club, think he’ll be their best player next season under competent management.
Elanga - decent young player, unlikely to set the world alight though.
Verdict: Top quality CF absolutely essential if they’re to challenge, and a big hole at RW currently with Rashford playing like he is.
Conclusion: As it stands it’s a midtable squad with too many players who are either past-it, could-be’s and never-were’s, almost all on big wages and so will prove troublesome to remove the deadwood especially for a novice transfer team. A couple of big signings will no doubt come in, as it’s still United and that’s what they do, and those absolutely have to be at DM (likely), CF (possible) and CB (unlikely), while strengthening desperately required at RW, CM, RB and LB. Meanwhile GK is a position that will need to be looked at sooner or later if they mean to push on.
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Give it up Nikola. We don’t have to fear them anymore. Or at the very least for a good long while.
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How the hell did Fernandez not get a red yesterday?
Agree with comments above on players out but I’d personally be looking damn close at this little turd as well. Ignoring the new contract of course. That’s a proper brain fart right there.
I know, I have lots of brain farts.
Lucky bastard, I only have farts.
Had a massive 3 minute one when I saw @ZinedineBiscan 's post above, I’m sure he wrote all that nonsense just to get a reaction from me. I didn’t read it, just farted, but just reacted here.
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That’s because you don’t have a brain. 
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It is quite some analysis that’s for sure.
To my mind @ZinedineBiscan has been paying far too much attention to what had been happening there. Quite some discipline needed to be fair.
The rest of us are too busy laughing, or farting.
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As my children would attest, thanks to the Huel diet I’m currently on, there is entirely too much farting (and subsequent laughing) going on currently.
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But it’s probably true that I’m enjoying talking (and farting and laughing) about United right now more than ourselves, as with regards to us I don’t have anything to say beyond “We’re great, the players are great, Jurgen’s great”, whereas the United Clown Car Crashfest is endlessly hilarious.
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