People who write clearly fake humble-brag stories on the internet. Like “I acted like a complete twat to someone just trying to do their job, and I was asked to become the manager of the company!”
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Haha @showmethemoney
“Enjoy” gets on my tits for some reason.
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Fixing my bike. Fix one thing and cause/uncover three others. Fix those and cause/uncover five more etc etc forever until I have to give in and take it to be repaired by some overpriced condescending dick.
This I hate.
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Wannabe mechanics who should stick to designing football boots who think they can fix their bikes then moan about the cost of fixing the things they fucked up in the first place. 
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The worst
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You, big dipper, you!
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Picking up and dipping kids, is that legal?
Ok, I’ll get me coat!
Renault Clio 2 MK2, same! 
Some of the commonly used phrase nowadays that really irks me:
“Slowing up”
“Warm down”
“Hotting up”
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Nowadays? I can recall hearing all of those phrases for some years now. 
“Trending in the right direction”… sorry, have the words “going” and “moving” been declared obsolete?
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not yet but it is definitely trending in that direction.
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After a weekend spent across the water… I’d like to put the various brewerys and their monopalisation of the pubs in England into Room 101.
“No we don’t sell Heineken, Coors, Budweiser, Carlsberg, Miller, Fosters, Carling, Tennents etc… however, can I interest you in a pint of Aunt Peggy’s Pissflaps?”
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At least with that aunt peggsy pint you know you ar getting piss water. its not so much false advertisement
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probably one i hate so much i find it funny and slip it into to conversations when im trying to be a dickhead…
its such a modern corporate/millenial cracker just padding…
‘in and of itself’
fuck do i laugh when i see someone use it seriously…
I really don’t like ‘nowadays’ personally!
Says what it does on the tin.
I think real ale, or at least real ale bores, are one thing I’d stick into Room 101.
From what I can tell, what real ale buffs are looking for are so many hops that it is borderline undrinkable without pulling a face as if you have swallowed a wasp and the more alcohol the better. However they all have reviews like this*:
Pours a clear light gold color with a white head and good retention.
Almost no lacing. Standard pale malt aroma.
More of a pale lager versus a Helles, IMHO. Apricot, peach and blackberry?
Nope. The flavor is standard pale malt with maybe a hint of bread in the finish.
Medium-light body. Clean and smooth.
Any yes, crisp mouthfeel, yet not over-carbonated. Low bitterness.
But the brew is called something like “Doctor Death’s Brain Fucker” and is 15% ABV.
NB* Genuine review nicked off interweb.
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Weird, ‘real ale’ isn’t supposed to be anything like as hoppy as North American IPAs. I thought the real ale stuff was focused on natural keg carbonation (so low), and poured with a beer engine.
Mrs CDO got me a vist to a macro brewery tour in Chester for my birthday a few years back. It was beneath a pub called ‘The Pied Bull’. You got to see the brewery and had a really good explanation of the brewing process. You then went back upstairs for a meal and 3 x 2/3 of a pint samples of different ales. As Mrs CDO doesn’t drink, I got 6 samples.
I have to say that as I’ve got older I do appreciate a good pint more. When I first started drinking I’d drink any lager. Then I moved on to bitter and then Guiness. Now I try to look for an IPA if I’m out.
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