Hey, I don’t need painkillers to wear off first!
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We had a bank holiday this weekend and I spent a significant portion of it in the yard getting it ready for summer. I’ve got an enormous bird of paradise in the corner by my pool and started trying to hack off some of the dead fronds. I stepped backwards after having lost my bearings and fell crashing into the pool. Smashed my head and leg on the curb and came out covered in blood, but mostly it was my pride that was hurt.
I got the fucking Frond though.
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I broke my middle toe yesterday walking around the bed. Would be funny if it wasn’t so inconvenient…
Ouch.
I am not quite sure as to how you could break a middle toe by walking around the bed but its still a major inconvenience.
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That’s what my wife said! I caught my toe on one of the legs as I rounded it and the sharp pain meant I did an instant swan dive to the ground that Harry Kane or Richarlison would have been proud of.
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Just bad luck then.
If i was you , i would use this opportunity to make the wife run around make you comfortable with breakfast in bed etc etc while you probably binge watch series
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Of the two divers you should go for Kane…He might be a Liverpool player!
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What was the littering like? A few weeks ago there were appalling reports of the extent of littering and people taking shits on or just off the routes (because toilet facilities were closed)?
Was just going for massive cuntishness. My wife laughed when I told her about the dramatic dive; she had a little more sympathy when she saw the bruising the next day.
As to sitting back while she runs around: well I’m looking after my 3 little guys (7; 5 and 5) who were all home today - building forts and refereeing disputes is a little harder although reading Asterix is nice. She cleaned the pool and took out the trash so I can’t complain too much…
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On the way up no real problems as it was mainly serious walkers. Top was the usual detritus of humanity, cans bottles food wrappers etc. On a nice day I’d imagine it could get horrible.
Had a colonoscopy.
The worst part was not the discomfort, but the look of the medical students face as they see the live camera feed of my hairy lubed up arse on a 100” screen.
No amount of small talk by the nurse, could distract me from what looked like a 19 year old kid turning away in disgust 
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It’s not really a spectator sport 
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They just got a dose of reality.
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that shit bugs the hell out of me. how f’ing difficult is it to put that stuff in a pocket or take a used plastic grocery bag and throw your garbage in it.
pack it in, pack it out. that’s the rule, fuck-o’s
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I’ve had a couple of examinations of my posterior over the years. I’ve always thought it pointless when you’re lying on your side with your knees tucked to your chest and your backside lubed up, for the Doctor to then say “relax”.
Believe me, there’s no way I’m relaxing in that situation. 
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…not when he has got fingers the size of bananas :0)
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as this seems to have turned into the sickness/medical thread…
currently lying on the couch wearing pyjamas, dressing gown and rapped in a blanket,
and still shivering, and my head is thumping sore
fucking flu…
my respite comes from hot Lemsips
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Get well soon everyone.
This Covid has really debilitated me, the last 4 days have been in bed, I can just about crawl to the bathroom. My mum’s carer had to look after me and bring me food to the bed.
@ISMF I have had an endoscopy and a colonoscopy done both at the same time. I did find it fascinating looking at the screen seeing the inside my colon.
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It gets worse before it gets better Maria. You will get through this.
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