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I remember a guy in work putting a sticker on a carton of milk in the cabin…
It said… "I have spat into this milk "
Someone wrote underneath…
" So have I " :0)

HaHa… he probably did put spat, that was my error above :0)

In my works fridge…it was…“this is breast milk”…whether it was or wasn’t we never knew.

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there was a fridge thief at a place I worked at many years ago. until someone fucked with the tub of Haagen Daaz they had in the freezer. waited til someone went home with severe diarrhea. The thief didn’t last long after that

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There was a guy in work who used to get cheese and onion sandwiches every day in his packed lunch from his wife… every single day for weeks, for months, probably even years, no one was counting, because as sure as night follows day, this guy got cheese and onion sandwiches in his lunch bag.

The guys eventually got onto this and started skitting him about it at every opportunity…
"What’s on your sandwiches today Alan, “Oh Hang on a minute, don’t tell me, let me guess”, snigger snigger, and stuff like that…

Alan obviously couldn’t face eating these less than appetising looking treats each day for his lunch, but the tight fucker wouldn’t offer them to anyone else either… We used to think he must still be madly in love with his wife and couldn’t bear to part with them, either that, or he fed them to the ducks or dumped them somewhere on his way home. Either way, he wouldn’t part with them.

Anyway, someone started to help themselves to Alan’s cheese and onion sandwiches without asking him. It started off with one going missing every know and again. Then on the odd occasion, an extra one would disappear also… Then they started to disappear on a more regular basis… well, at least once a week anyway, but not enough
gravity attached to the crime to call the police in to investigate the matter… well unless your name was Alan that was.

Well obviously this bothered this Alan guy quite a bit, and we were never sure whether he summoned up the courage to confess to his wife… that some ‘thief’ was enjoying the labours of her love she poured into making them every single day for him, because, without informing anyone at work, he had, or maybe they both had, if he spilled his secret about the ‘thief’ to her… rolled up tiny little balls of aluminium foil, and hid them within the cheese, of his cheese and onion sandwiches…

He never told anyone what he had done, never even mentioned it until the story came out in the open a few months later. Apparently, his sandwiches got nicked when they had the foil in, and that was the very last time they ever got lifted from his bag… never again after that…

He told us this story months later, when some random guy happened to ask were his infamous cheese and onion sandwiches still going missing… He said no, and told us the reason he thinks it came to a sudden halt… He had done some serious research regarding his plight, to discover the best deterrent to put a stop to his sleepless nights, worrying about his wife’s devoted love tokens going missing.
He said… “anyone that has ever experienced silver/aluminium foil on an amalgam tooth filling, will never want to experience it ever again in their lifetime” with the biggest grin of victory on his face.

Needless to say, whoever it was that had their teeth rattled with what amounts to, or seems like, a 240volt electricity charge being zapped through them, never took another cheese and onion sandwich from Alan again… :0)

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@Limiescouse look after yourself mate. Wishing you a speedy recovery

A “healthy” dose of laxatives would have done the trick as well.

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Just as the weather is getting hotter, we are experiencing regular power outages. Several times a day and each time for a duration of one hour. Things are supposedly even worse in the smaller towns and villages.

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Disneyworld ticket kiosks?

Another little update for the gardeners, tree people.

So this silver birch was a 15’ tall spindly thing that had rooted on a rock outcrop and blew over in a storm last August or so. It stayed there for several months half connected by a couple of roots but being broken and trampled to shreds. So February this year I came along and unashamedly took it. Managed to save next to no roots, cut it right down and planted it in my home made soil mix. Since then it’s been watered and that’s it. I gave it next to no chance of surviving.
To my astonishment I have the first little bud making an appearance. Yay! If it holds and grows I may have saved myself 10 years.
So discussing with a few bonsai experts I’ve been advised to cover the soil with sphagnum moss, and put a bin bag over it. I’ll also keep it damp. That should encourage more budding apparently.



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Finally got the privacy fence project finished.

When I installed the pool we ended up having to do a bit more engineering of the ground that I expected and the result was the pool deck sat up at a much higher elevation than I had pictured it would. The result was the wall we have between us and the apartment complex behind did pretty much nothing.

This image shows the pool deck maybe 12 to 18 inches higher than the previous elevation of the yard before I started

After ignoring it for a while I tried planting bamboo. It started off promising…


but in the end just didnt grow in enough new mature shoots to provide the thickness of coverage. So I ended up with tons of leaves in the pool for little additional privacy

So I ripped it all out and tried something else

I still have to fix the irrigation line running down the length of the wall that I broke in removing the bamboo, and I’ll try to do that tonight. Then I’ll plant new shrubs along the wall and the then i’ll be all done (until they die and I have to do it all over again).

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You chopped down those trees :exploding_head: :rage:

Trees (grass really) I planted that werent thriving were relocated to a different part of my yard where they might do better and to make room for a different shurb that would do better in that spot

We’ve got a bath tub, this was great inspiration.

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Much improved! I’m putting up a 6m x 3m trellis to screen out a neighbours garage which will cover with star jasmine.
We have a similar pool situation to yourself but luckily we have 12 feet walls around so can skinny dip in total privacy.

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Luckily for your neighbours you mean

We have bigger puddles in Scotland

That reminds me of the old joke, My missus gets really angry with the neighbour’s wife always sunbathing naked in the backyard. Personally, I’m on the fence

have most of my garden in the ground now, planted onions, peppers, tomatoes, peas, pole beans, honeydew and beets over the weekend. Now looking at carrots and some misc herbs I need to deal with soon.

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I’m surrounded by manc utd fans, escaping to Liverpool Lime street