Almost up to @gasband 's standards of artistic talent, What’s the title?
May I suggest ‘How to avoid a shark’?
That looks more like ‘The heatmap of a Liverpool midfielder’
Nah, too much virtical movement and not enough lateral movement
Just been bawled out by a couple of yuppie neighbours about some perceived bike parking problem. No idea why they were so upset, but it was extremely disturbing. They were incandescent with rage.
Middle class German outrage is a nasty business.
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You think that’s bad?
When they show up at a hotel at 4 in the morning wanting their arses wiped is really taking the biscuit.
Thing is I don’t want clients like that in the hotel where I work. The proposition is you behave or go find another hotel at 4 in the morning 
.
The problem when it’s neighbours you can not evict them so have to live with this nastyness until you move.
As a matter of interest, where abouts in France is your hotel?
At the A7/A9 echangeur. Where the Antique Theatre is.
You should know the area at least a bit!
Threaten to punch them … they’ll soon shut up.
They were the type who would sue if you brushed against their shoulder.
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Invite them to sit down - rage is harder to keep going when seated. Then pour a beer, and have them explain the situation that has them so riled up, as working it out surely can’t be beyond everyone.
If they are the litigious type, then the verbal assault and threat to your person, 2v1, is bang out of order, and should be prosecuted.
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Day off here, Independence Day. Two racks of ribs marinading, I made a dry rub. Going to town at the moment with the new smoker I have. They will cook low and slow, and then fall off the bone, into my mouth, this evening. While we watch fireworks.
Freedom though? Bunch of balls. I never really understood all that since I’ve lived here. When you are free you probably don’t need to keep banging on about it.
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That’s very nice, but they stormed off before I could gather my thoughts.
It’s ok. First world problem etc, but it was unsettling to be subjected to so much rage out of the blue and about so little.
Nothing had been damaged, no one was hurt. As far as I understood it, the lady was upset because she had to move her bike due to a kid’s bike being in the wrong place. She thought, for some reason, that I was involved in moving the kid’s bike. That’s how petty and pathetic the whole thing was.
For this I was verbally assaulted, and being verbally assaulted in German is a special kind of nasty.
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Fair enough, when it’s a quick fire and unexpected outburst, it sets you back and is probably over as quick as it started. The problem is that the depth of rage expressed leaves you reeling afterwards. Sorry it happened mate.
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All good. Now it just seems surreal.
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You posted this on the 15th June, so should be in Ireland now. Welcome home!
Everything going well?
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What is it with Germans and Blitzkrieg?
@RedOverTheWater advise is of course spot on but, if perchance you instead want to irritate them, just whistle the Colonel Bogey March at them.
Still pissed on the Guinness and enjoying the craic?
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Ah, the Irish and their Guiness and ze Germans and their Blitzkrieg, classic
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Where is this Semmy ?