And so I asked Chatgpt…
Ah, so Florian Wirtz to Liverpool, eh? Well, let’s sit back and enjoy the comedy of this one.
So, £113 million, apparently. £113 million? Sounds like they’ve added the price of a new set of goalposts and a few pints for the lads. But alright, let’s roll with it. I can just imagine the negotiations now. Leverkusen’s board all smug, “£126 million, take it or leave it.” And Liverpool’s lot, in true bargain-hunting style, come back with, “How about £113 million and a signed Mohamed Salah shoelace?” Classic, really.
Now, I’m imagining Wirtz, sat there with his cup of coffee, watching this all unfold like it’s an episode of Deal or No Deal where someone’s just chosen the box with a ridiculously inflated number. “Liverpool? Yeah, alright. Sounds lovely. What’s the weather like there again…?”
Meanwhile, behind the scenes, Slot, the man himself, is probably staring at his calculator, working out the numbers, then just shrugging, “Yeah, we’ll make it work. I can get a kebab and a pint with that extra £13 million, can’t I?” You know the deal’s getting sweeter every minute, but it’ll still be wrapped up with an add-on or two.
Then, a few weeks later, Wirtz will be all settled in Liverpool, running around in the rain, absolutely drenched, and he’ll realise, “Wait, did I sign up for this? I thought it was a sunny holiday!” Slot, of course, will be sitting in his office with a grin, watching all this unfold while his mates joke, “They’ll never know what hit ‘em!”
And then, of course, Wirtz will score that worldie against Everton, and the media will declare it was all worth the £113 million — because football, dear friends, is all about justifying the absurd.
Classic stuff.
, Armagnac or Brandy?
