The Manchester United Thread: That's It. That's the Joke (Part 1)

There’s a lot of Liverpool fans who don’t understand this as well.

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Hey Ralphie… Ya need a hair cut…! :0)

Jay Rodriguez can barely run these days and he just skipped past Maguire on that goal. The physicla response to Jay Rodriguez’s jink looked like an over 40s league. And again, we’re talking about a 32 year old Jay Rodriguez who now seems to model his game on his mentor, Ricky Lambert.

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Maguire will end up playing for Utd’s ‘B’ team, sorry I meant Everton, like so many others.

I’m here just for the “Oh for fuck’s sake United!”.

Haven’t we heard that from him the last 18 months…

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Gold this from Redcafe

I believe under a different manager he has a chance to thrive, but it will be interesting to re read the reaction of united fan before we signed him. I remember some voicing concerns about the signing then. Some of those concerns we are seeing, but I don’t believe he is a terrible player. As such, I don’t think we should sell and try to get the best out of him from a different manager

There is a truth in there - in certain defensive schemes, he can be reasonably effective in a defined and protected role. But no club competing in Europe and fighting for a top 4 spot the way ManU aspires to be is going to play that sort of scheme most of the time. Worse, they already have a couple of players (Ronaldo the worst of them) who contribute nothing defensively and need midfield cover. He has never been close to as good for ManU as he was for Leicester because he has never been in any remotely comparable playing system. Even Southgate’s England is a better fit for him.

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He’s ok for a mid table team, or lower. They cross it in, he heads it away. They rough you up a bit, he gives some back. He is that level of defender, and if he pops up with a set piece goal or two, it adds to a little highlight reel for him. And if the opponent is an upper Prem team that just waltzes around him, well, it’s not his fault is it, as he is a stout player in a modest team, outmatched by the opponent.

Leicester did amazing business, helped by us signing VVD, so Man Utd had to put down their own marker.

On a purely footballing basis Man Utd need to get him out of the team and find someone much better. His transfer value is minimal and his wages are obscene. Man Utd will be stuck with him in the team - a bad option; or they will be stuck with him as a squad man at the club raking in his money - another bad option; or they will pay him off and sell for an undisclosed sum, a very low amount, to a smaller club - another bad option for them financially, and Maguire probably wouldn’t take it.

Man Utd don’t really have a good option with him.

Widening it out from Maguire, it needs a broom going through the squad, under a top football manager, with his recruitment and coaching team in place. It will be enormously expensive, and they will need to be patient, as it needs root and branch reform. If the owners continue to hollow them out from within, I’m not sure it will happen. There’s a sense in which they are in denial and they think they are only a couple of players away.

And as Mascot said, Old Trafford needs a lot of money to be spent on it to get it up to par.

PS - in time, books will be written, along the lines of how empires fall…

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England also has a pathological need to demonstrate that we’re not backwards in terms of skill, technique and tactics. It makes us collectively massively over rate defenders who are “good on the ball”. Any English defender who is confident enough to take a touch and take one step forward with it is lauded as being the new Beckenbauer as both their ability on the ball and then their overall defensive quality is massively over rated.

It was me, but said the opposite. Utd need to reset salary expectations and to do that I think they need to be seen to knock back a couple of high profile targets because they are unwilling to meet their salary demands. It’s going to be difficult to reset these expectations with so many overpaid underperforming legacy players still on the books, but it starts with not adding to the mess with new signings.

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That depends on what they plan to do from the summer. Ralph’s presence may be helping them build a platform from which they continue progressing.

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I’m not sure Man Utd have a plan.

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Fuck I hope it’s Conference rather than League.

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Yeah, the biggest problem with appointing Ralf as manager now in this capacity is he is such a concept coach. That makes sense if they’ve already earmarked the permanent guy whose approach would build on the work Ralf has done, but then doesnt that also undercut Ralf’s supposed larger advisory role?

You’d think the way to really get a clean slate and not make this period be such a waste of time is find a more tactically agnostic manager. While obviously not available, you’d be looking at someone like Ancelotti or Allegri, someone who is going to base his selections and game plan based on the strengths of the players he has available. Not only would that likely produce a better interim period, it would provide a wider perspective on what they have on board to walk with which then might also inform their managerial search.

In summary, they have no feckin clue.

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Liverpool have a gegenpressing visionary as coach. Time for united to get another gegenpress visionary as coach. How does the fact that Ralf sees himself as more of a DoF and less of a first team manager matter ? They don’t have a clue to understand that the current Man Utd team (With exception of Sancho / Cavani / Fred) don’t press at all… And Fred’s pressing is shit. Neither do they play a high defensive line that such a method needs as the first form of defense.

Ralf is playing more pragmatically and being tactic agnostic. He knows that the Man Utd defense will be obliterated if he tries playing a high line with this manchester unit. That’s the first step to having a counter-pressing team and that isn’t possible if the likes of Maguire get beaten for pace by Jay Fucking Rodriguez.

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We lot didn’t have too many good things to say about Lovren. But he’d probably be the first choice CB for Manchester United easily.

Varane - Injury Prone and not a natural leader
Lindelof - Shit on the Air
Bailly -
Maguire - Shit
Jones - Less Shit than Maguire

Essentially United are stuck with 5 CB’s and that’s including the likes of Maguire and Jones. One more injury to Varane this season and they’re fecked.

And look at the guys who they’ve allowed to leave (either on loan or on a free) over the last 5 years
Evans - Made Maguire look competent at Leicester
Tuanzabe
Smalling

If United were sensible (lol) they’d bring in Potter in the summer and bring Bissouma with him, then give him a minimum of three years without pressure on immediate results while supporting him in the transfer market to bring in players that will actually operate in his system.

But they’re a tragicomedy of a club, so they’ll just appoint another buzzword name, make one marquee signing who won’t do anything to address their needs, crow that they’re going to win the league and by December be wondering why all the wheels have fallen off yet again

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Great innit :smiley::+1:

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With the scum its great to watch the shit rise to the top

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Love It Reaction GIF by CBS

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I am fairly certain they do - a brilliant plan that allows them to put young talent into a side focused on evolving incrementally towards their long term shape, while winning in the short term around high-brand value stars allowing them to meet the near term commercial goals. Seamlessly shift from a side based around their veterans into some sort of vision that connects to Rangnick.

The problem is that their plan makes a virtue of what is a fundamental tension, the very reason the plan has attracted nods all around the board table is that it abstracts away from the hard choices. It tells a great story, but it cannot work without remarkable organizational discipline, which they just don’t have. Worse, they have the resources to ensure they can do both badly. So you get bizarre outcomes like hiring Rangnick for a long-term project on a short-term engagement, and splurging to bring in sparkly Ronaldo for all the likes on Instagram, and there is no conflict there at all…until the football pitch.

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